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April-June, 2015

A Brother, a Mentor, a Friend

by Rev. Michael Graves, O.M.C.

A couple of years ago, I began attending a Wednesday evening ACIM study group that a friend of mine had told me about which was being held in the home of a local couple. I had recently decided to begin studying the Course again, so I decided to give this group a try. For me, studying the Course with a group makes it much easier to understand and apply to my life.

Dennis and his wife were both elementary school teachers and long time students of the Course. They had been studying it as a couple for many, many years. Dennis had retired but his wife was still teaching. One of the first things I noticed when I arrived at their home was a big yard sign out in front that read: “A Course in Miracles” and it had two meeting times on it. There was a meeting Wednesdays at noon and then again at 6 p.m.!  Dennis also started a Saturday morning group at the local library and a Tuesday morning group at a nearby Starbucks!

My first thought was, “man, this guy must be a serious Course student!” And as it turned out, I couldn’t have been more right! But Dennis was also the consummate teacher. When I walked into the living room the first thing I saw was two spacious couches with a big round wooden coffee table in the middle, covered with extra copies of the course (including several copies of the older three volume sets) along with a host of other metaphysical books from the last 20 years or so. You name it and it was probably either there on the table, or somebody had it out on loan.

In true school teacher form, Dennis had an easel with the big dry erase whiteboard on it, complete with markers and an eraser. It always had the lesson number and text section we were going to study that day along with a list of other meetings in the area. I am pretty sure that the only reason he didn’t have one of those old, big green classroom chalkboards bolted to the wall is because his wife wouldn’t let him do it. So the easel and white board would have to do. It took a couple of meetings for me to realize that I didn’t have to raise my hand and ask to be excused to go to the rest room like we did in school.

After I had been attending his groups for a while, Dennis came up to me one day and said, “I think it is time for you to start a group.” I was a little shocked by his statement but I had actually considered doing it at some point in the future. I just didn’t feel I was ready. Apparently Dennis felt that I was. I said, well, ok, I guess I could do it. All I really need is a place for people to sit and a copy of the Course, and I just happen to have both. I had retired by then so I started the group in my home on Thursdays at noon. Dennis and his good friend Otis attended faithfully almost every Thursday to support the new meeting.

Now, we all know that A Course in Miracles is not a religion and there is no official ACIM missionary program. But nobody told Dennis. He wore a white baseball cap and a matching tee shirt that read: I (red heart symbol) A Course in Miracles. He had business cards in his wallet with A Course in Miracles and his name and phone number on them. And yes, he had matching magnetic signs for his car.

When going places with Dennis, there were two things that you needed to know. One is that at some point, he was going to want to stop for Starbucks, frozen yogurt or some other tasty treat. The other was that at some point, you would look around and notice that he was no longer there.

Upon further investigation, you would discover that he did not get lost but rather, he had stopped to talk to someone, and without fail, he was asking them if they had ever heard of A Course in Miracles.   

I have to admit, I used to get a bit of a chuckle out of it. That is, until I started meeting people who said that they had either found out about the Course from him or started studying it, because Dennis had stopped to talk to them.

After knowing Dennis for a while, I realized that he had memorized several of the more popular quotes and prayers from the Course. Some of which are quite long! One of his favorites was the “Steady our feet our Father” prayer found in review V. before lesson 171. I asked Dennis one day how he had managed to memorize so much from the Course. He told me that he had sleep apnea and didn’t sleep more than a few hours a night. He said, “I am up anyway so I thought I would put the time to good use.” When closing our study sessions we would routinely stand in a circle holding hands and Dennis would dismiss us with one of the gems he had memorized.

When I started writing this article, Dennis had been told that he was ill and was being placed on hospice care. He knew that it was possible that he would not be with us much longer. After getting the news, Dennis continued to host the group in his home, welcomed us with his warm and loving hugs and studied with us from his beloved A Course in Miracles. My friend made his transition on Dec. 23rd 2014, just a few days before Christmas.

I could go on and on about my friend Dennis and the kind of man that he was, but suffice it to say that he was a shining example of a student of A Course in Miracles. He truly lived and practiced the principals as he understood them and he was a kind, loving and gentle soul. I consider myself blessed to have known this amazing man and his dear wife.

The biggest blessing in all of this for me is that I have become very aware of how differently I feel today than I would have a year or so ago. Through studying the Course I have had a very noticeable shift in how I react to things that happen in my own life and to the news of sad and tragic events happening locally and in the world around me. I am just not as upset as I used to be. I actually see them now as what I call: “The world doing what the world does.”

But I did wonder how I would react when something happened that was much closer to me than just seeing it happening to someone else on the evening news. Such as someone I loved and was close to, laying their body down and transitioning out of this world.

I was delighted to discover that I have come to know and understand the true nature of life. I have come to know and truly understand the difference between reality and illusion. This is the foundation that the Holy Spirit provides me when I ask for it. And it will continue to support me throughout the rest my life.

Am I sad? Of course I am. Have I cried? I have. Do I miss my friend? Yes. But today, I understand. And with that understanding has come a powerful, deep and abiding peace. A peace I never thought I could have at a time like this.

Thank you Dennis. My brother, my mentor, my friend.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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