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January-March, 2010

A Christmas Illusion

by Rev. Joanne Schneider

As the Christmas holidays approached, the usual (or I should say insane) family dynamics began. My sister, who comes in from out of town every other year, announced that if I brought someone outside of the family to our family Christmas gift exchange, she and her family would not be there.

She believed this was a time for only family and outsiders should not be present. I had already invited a friend of mine who could not go home for the holidays and would therefore be alone. Needless to say, this became a big issue very quick. My sister called my mother and father who were dumbfounded by her demands.  Never would they exclude someone who would be alone over Christmas.

As the days progressed, my mother talked to my two brothers and their wives who were completely accepting of an outsider joining our Christmas activities. But my sister would call my parents regularly and continued to debate the issue. My parents were quite distressed.

Then during one of those phone calls, my mother, in an attempt to appease my sister, asked her to tolerated the outsider this year and promised that no outsiders would be invited any future years when my sister and her family plan to visit for Christmas (every other year).  As you can imagine, I went in and out of various levels of anger over the approaching few days before Christmas thinking about my sister’s demands and my mother’s promise.

Then one day, during my prayer time, I read about true prayer. Jesus tells us in the Song of Prayer, “Praying to Christ in anyone is true prayer because it is a gift of thanks to His Father.” (S-1.I.7:1)

This was difficult for me. With my egoic mind I knew that Christ is in my sister and my mother, but praying to that Christ in them would be difficult. How was I to pray to that Christ? In the Song of Prayer Jesus also says, “Prayer is a stepping aside; a letting go, a quiet time of listening and loving.  It should not be confused with supplication of any kind, because it is a way of remembering your holiness.” (S-1.I.5:1-2) 

I knew that meant their holiness also. I decided that instead of looking for some resolution to this issue, I would do as Jesus instructed, I would let go and have a quiet time of listening and loving.

So in my meditation, after the usual chatter of thoughts, I saw my sister, my mother, Jesus, and me standing in a semicircle. Then our physical forms fell away and our Spirits were there as light beings.  Then the light being of God moved to complete the circle and eventually moved to the inside with the four of us around Him blending with His Light. Sitting with this image for a while, I realized that others could join the circle and almost immediately a couple of other light beings, reflecting physical forms with whom I hold grievances, joined the circle of light and blended with God. 

I came out of this meditation relieved but I knew that, until Christmas, I would have to spend more time in the prayer Jesus describes, a time of letting go, listening, and loving.

During the next few days, Spirit again directed me to the words Jesus gave us. “When someone calls for help in any form, He is the One to answer for you. All that you need do is to step back and not to interfere. Forgiveness-for-salvation is His task, and it is He Who will respond for you.” (S-2.III.2:5-7)

I do not need to worry. Again, my part is simply to step back. “Let Him take charge of how you would forgive, and each occasion then will be to you another step to Heaven and to peace.” (S-2.III.3:4)

I started seeing the pattern. I need to do NOTHING! I listen for His guidance. I let Him be in charge of my forgiveness. But being the “doer” that I am, I was not sure how to DO that, nothing. What should I really DO to step back and let Him take charge?  The Holy Spirit pushed me further. “Forgive him as the Christ decides you should, and be His eyes through which you look on him, and speak for Him as well. He knows the need; the question and the answer. He will say exactly what to do, in words that you can understand and you can also use. Do not confuse His function with your own.  He is the Answer. You the one who hears.” (S-2.III.5: 5-10) 

Wow, there it was! I heard that I should look at my sister and mother through Christ’s eyes and listen for His words. And, because “Christ is the Self the Sonship shares…” (T-15.V.10:10), I heard that I was to look through the eyes of the single Self, the Sonship and part of the Trinity, as Jesus would look upon them. And Jesus assured me, “Do you but listen. For He will be heard by anyone who calls upon His Name, and places his forgiveness in His hands.” (S-2.III.6:5-6) So this Christmas provided a healing experience for me, an occasion for “another step to Heaven and to peace.”

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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