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July-September, 2010

Allowing

Rev. Gary Winslow Ledson

Since being ordained in January, I have come to realize and experience a new way of being that I had only studied before — namely, to experience Spirit (Love’s Presence) being expressed through me. Until recently I’ve been the doer and maker of my life. This way of living was a huge jump from being run by the world of events and circumstances. However, being captain of my ship still left me striving and uneasy. Running my life was an ongoing job, an ongoing struggle. Was there another way to be?

There are no accidents, of course. At the end of January a small job was brought to me. To be a paid “gopher” for my wife who is the artistic director for the local Mustard Festival in the Napa Valley. This was a challenge, for when working under my wife of 35 years I usually found myself being very contentious or in a shut down mode. Not satisfying to say the least.

Through a ceremony focusing on “context” in my men’s team, I committed to come from a context of “Yes or Yesness” while working for my wife. In doing so, I kept myself in the present moment. I eliminated using my past beliefs to argue, disagree with, or even to question. There was a new sense of hearing. It was like I had more room to listen.

As part of an intense production team for a black tie event of 500, my experience flowed. There was no struggle. There was a ton of work but it was more a way of being as opposed to doing tasks. My wife, out of nowhere, 3 days later said how enjoyable it was working with me. I decided to keep this context of “Yes” with my wife and use it for the rest of life.

It has been wonderfully interesting what I have been experiencing through allowing myself more and more to be led by Love (the present moment of “Yesness”). From “Yesness” I’ve joined an 11 person ACIM study group and it has been fun and rich (I had thought it would be argumentative and conflicted).

I am praying and being peaceful with a man in a nursing home. In a previous job as a social worker I hated this very same home. It smelled and I saw my death. I agreed to officiate at two weddings and maybe more. Wow! To love people and earn money. I helped ghosts to go Home and a woman to heal around the loss of her beloved dog.

What’s next Holy Spirit? It doesn’t matter. It is all the same. It is all another opportunity to allow the Presence of Love to come through me, to fill me, to heal my “No-ness.” And, of course, to pass this Love on.

I’ve been led to blog the Workbook Lessons. I had thought journaling was romantic daydreaming. I slugged through the Lessons 27 months ago. Today, this moment, now in the “Yes” is Lesson 27: “Above all else I want to see.” Liz Cronkhite’s translation is: “Above all else I want to perceive differently.”

Hallelujah! Yes, Yes, and YES! Get behind me, past. I’m allowing Love’s Presence!

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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