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July-September, 2014

Awakening Through My Special Relationships — Part I

by Rev. Linda La Casse, O.M.C.

I am very excited to be invited to contribute to Miracles News! I was ordained in September, 2013 and have been awaiting instruction from Holy Spirit for how I am to proceed with my ministry. He has made it very clear to me that I am to share with the world what I have been so dutifully recording in my daily journal, the bountiful miracles I have experienced since becoming an A Course in Miracles student seven years ago and now experience on a daily basis. I have truly learned that there are no degrees of difficulty in creating miracles nor are any more or less major or minor than any others. I am living a miraculous life and passionately want to share all that I have learned!

In this article, I shall share the beginning of what I hope is to be an ongoing series of articles of the tale of miracles I have experienced in my special relationships and of the love, gratitude and thanksgiving I have for these saviors on my journey to awakening, for I cannot possibly condense this powerful forgiveness lesson into a single article. The two saviors being introduced in this article are my daughter Stephanie and her step-dad, my second ex-husband, Tom.

The story began 11 years ago in 2003 when I married Tom, not for love, but for security and so I could do the only thing I truly wanted, be home for my two daughters. While single after divorcing their father, I worked full time and it was so painful when Stephanie, my youngest daughter who was 11 at the time, would call me at work, crying as she begged me to come home. She was safe with her 14 year-old sister was there with her, but Stephanie suffered severely from separation anxiety.

One day after work, I cried while mowing my lawn, feeling so overwhelmed and distraught. I remember vividly doing what I had always done; I talked with God about it and told Him I needed a wife! Jesus teaches in ACIM that no call to God goes unanswered. Since that time, I always advise others to be very careful in choosing the words when telling God what they want and need, for a wife is precisely what I was given. However, I’d always wished I’d added that I want a wife like the one I was when married to my first husband, for I did not have honey-do lists, nor did I cut him off from sex as a form of control and punishment. But alas, I wouldn’t have learned how to save myself and the world. Powerful, huh?

The irony is that neither Tom nor I wanted to marry each other but we did it anyway and oh, the fun and folly the ego had with this decision! Though this wasn’t what we wanted, we both acknowledged that we were following a force far greater leading us to do it anyway. Suffice it to say, it was the worst time of my life and I was desperate but I also knew that this was a journey I had to make to learn what I didn’t in my first marriage. I had to repeat the lesson. I called for my teacher and he came for me in the form of the ego male version of myself. It wasn’t pretty! In fact, it was everything Jesus describes in ACIM about unholy relationships, the hatred, the loathing, the blaming and shaming, all things ugly and toxic that needed to be seen and brought to the light of the truth.

What ensued was the most insane three ring circus for several years. My oldest daughter was exempt from the insanity because she was the sane one, according to the world’s definition. She was an all- A high school student and continued to be so in college; possessed a delightfully loving disposition; followed all the rules and was incredibly skilled at deflecting any attack. So, that left Tom, Stephanie and me in our respective three rings of insanity.

Tom had never been married nor had any children but he held a PhD in psychology. I truly believed this would be an asset to helping me parent Stephanie. I also heard Spirit tell me that I could grow in relationship with this man.

Grow I most certainly did as I became an ACIM student at the end of 2006 by way of Gary Renard’s book, The Disappearance of the Universe, which prepared me so expediently for the Course. As a student of ACIM, I learned very quickly how to see Stephanie and Tom as bookends holding an unlimited abundance of forgiveness opportunities between them. Not only did these two saviors reflect all my unconscious guilt and fear back to me separately in my relationship with each of them, but they also helped me allow Holy Spirit to condense time by becoming embroiled in a bitter battle in their own relationship; a relationship which pitted me in the middle.

Of course, I was the center act of insanity for I had made it all up! In learning that I had made up this insane illusion, I also learned to be grateful and thankful for all I was seeing reflected by Tom and Stephanie as my opportunity to be healed twice as fast!! I literally was killing, undoing, two ego birds with one stone — true forgiveness!

The first miracle I consciously experienced as such was shortly after becoming an ACIM student. At 16, Stephanie attempted suicide. What would have been an absolutely terrifying experience for me without ACIM and learning of true forgiveness, and making up my mind to vigilantly and diligently practice it every second of every minute of every hour of every day, turned out to be a miracle in that I simply trusted Holy Spirit to show me how to see Steph’s traumatizing experience differently.

It was not easy but it was simple to give all my thoughts of what appeared to be during that time to Holy Spirit to look upon and judge for me, embracing that it truly was a bad dream. The effect was my perception of Stephanie not only surviving but coming out of that ordeal completely unscathed physically, free of any damage to her organs or her hearing. I was very aware of this reflecting my own healing.

This was not the end of the forgiveness lesson but the beginning of many more miracles I was to experience with Stephanie and Tom by giving all my thoughts to Holy Spirit to look upon and judge for me, heal and return to me with His corrected perception. My motto after divorcing my first husband 15 years ago has been, “There’s no growth in easy. I’m scared but I’m doing it anyway.” I’ve since learned as an ACIM student that these were Holy Spirit’s thoughts being given to me, gratefully and thankfully so!

Growing pains often are excruciating because the ego wants us too fearful of the pain to go where Spirit leads us, into the depths of hell where we have buried and kept secret our unconscious guilt and fear for thinking we separated from God, His perfect Love. However, I am witness to how miraculously peaceful and joyful life can be because of my abundant willingness to listen to and follow His loving guidance, despite my fear of letting go of all I’ve made up and believed was real; my fear of breaking my promise to the ego to never do this.

Follow along in my series of articles to see how Holy Spirit used my relationships to make them holy.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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