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April-June, 2015

Being Drawn In

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

Why have I been so strongly drawn to the teachings of A Course in Miracles? I had no previous strong spiritual beliefs. Although I attended Sunday school and became confirmed at age 13 as a Presbyterian, I stopped attending church and praying shortly after.

When I was a kid, I prayed for certain outcomes to take place that didn’t happen. Looking back, the things I prayed for were insignificant. I lost faith, however, that God was listening or watching me. Later on, the dogma of organized religion turned me off, as did the long history of violence in the name of God.

For the next 30 years I developed an agnostic philosophy. I basically professed that I didn’t know the truth about God but I certainly did not believe in any of those religions with their stories and their rules. I also didn’t believe there was any connection between a Higher Power and me. Sadly, I held on to thoughts like that for a long time.

My first “crash and burn” experience was my divorce. It unexpectedly brought me to a place where I recognized I needed spiritual help. A friend handed me an audiotape of Marianne Williamson. It was not the type of material that I would have been open to previously. She spoke of a different way of seeing the world.

Soon after, I went to see her speak in NYC and I bought the three books of A Course in Miracles following her lecture. I read Lesson 1 on the way home on the train.

I started with the Workbook. Marianne had said that doing the ACIM Workbook could be compared to lifting weights. You don’t have to believe it or like it. You just have to do it. And you will get stronger … spiritually stronger. For some reason that message resonated strongly in me.

I cannot say I liked the Workbook lessons right away but was determined to give them a fair shake. Looking back, somewhere in the first 50 lessons I had developed a connection to Holy Spirit. I did as the lesson suggested and connected to it throughout the day as instructed.

The Workbook was working me in a way I did not yet understand. I can’t explain my devotion to it but it was a strong calling. That was more than 20 years ago. I can say with conviction I never really put the book down.

I sometimes wonder what made me keep going back to the book? I was confused by what the Course was saying. I had no background in metaphysics. “What does that mean?” was my constant refrain.

There was something else, though. I had this unmistakable feeling that I had stumbled upon the Truth and it was being spoken to me in this modern document as a form of spiritual psychotherapy. I felt like the Author was talking to me personally a on a deeper level. He asked me for a little willingness. I felt I wanted to give Him more than that.
Although I did not yet understand the Course intellectually, my heart felt that I was holding the Truth in my hands. Holy Spirit reached deep inside me. I did not know what was happening but a transformation was taking place.

Through those Workbook lessons I developed a relationship with Holy Spirit that has continued to grow and give me the strength I need to navigate through this “dream” with Love. Although the challenges of this dream of mine continue and even intensify, I feel the power of forgiveness working in me.

I try to be aware of which teacher’s hand I am holding in the moment. I try to notice when I am with the ego … and to pause … step back … step aside … let Spirit guide me. I try to forgive myself or “let it go” when I choose the ego. I try not to judge my brothers when it seems obvious that they have chosen wrongly. “Progress, not perfection” seems to be an appropriate slogan for me here.

Practicing the Workbook lessons builds trust in the process. Healing is the result. Fear dissipates. Spiritual strength transforms the world into the Happy Dream. I have been drawn in by the Love in ACIM. It has been the Love all along and it is serving me well.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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