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October-December, 2011

From Specialness to Holiness, from Hatred to Love

by Rev. Linda Wisniewski, O.M.C.

Remember that song that asked the question: Why do we always hurt the ones we love?

Why do I feel at times so tense and in rage in my partner’s presence? After all, we’ve been together for over 28 years and I still react in rage and feel the need to defend myself. I say I love God, but how can I love Him when I attack His Son, my brother, my one Self? Since ACIM says there is no one out there, is the person I see as my partner really only a symbol of an ancient hate?

So, dear Holy Spirit, talk to me of this ancient hate that blocks me from seeing God and all his Creations as Love.

Holy Spirit: Dear One, the hatred is of the ego. The ego doesn’t want to see your brother as the Christ. It doesn’t want you to remember your oneness in God. The ego’s laws are the laws of specialness. The ego-self craves specialness. The ego’s means of keeping the separation going is through projection. Seeing your brother as the Christ means death to the ego split mind.

The ego believes it grows in strength and power as its craving and desperation for specialness is continually satisfied. The problem is it never gets satisfied. And when it doesn’t get satisfied, it goes into rage. As long as you seek specialness, you won’t see your brother as the Christ. And as long as you don’t see your brother as the Christ, as one with you, you will not remember God. You will not know true Love, the Love of God, your Holy Father.

Holy Spirit then asked me the following question: Are you feeling this defended with any other special ones in your life?

Yes, I have experienced this tension (which came in the form of severe back pain and arthritis in the body) when I have related to my parents and, interestingly, my daughter seems to experience this tension towards me and we continually defend against each other. In addition, my 12 year-old grandson is now experiencing severe back pain and tension in his body. What is this all about?

ACIM teaches that the body is neutral; it doesn’t experience pain or pleasure. Only the mind can project this onto a body so we forget that the source of pain does not come from the body. ACIM also teaches that the present reactions — the present feelings of rage and hatred, the body tension — are never about the present.

So where does it come from? Why is it I feel I have to defend against my partner, my daughter and other special relationships I made? You said, Holy Spirit, that I will not know what true Love is as long as I defend myself in these relationships. What do you mean?

Holy Spirit: In a forgotten part of your memory lies a belief that you once had an idea that you could be separate from God and you believed this idea to be true, i.e. to be real. Because you believed this idea to be true and it felt very real, it filled you with guilt that you had sinned and made your Father very angry. You believed your Holy Father, God, was so angry that He would seek revenge on you and you would be annihilated. This story that you made up engendered so much fear in you that you believed you had to defend against it at all costs. You even projected this fear onto all your loving relationships because, with these guilty thoughts, you confused love with fear.

With these guilty thoughts, you projected onto loved ones in your life your belief that love was to be feared; that these loved ones were a projection of God and, like God, were angry with you. You believed that they would seek vengeance against you, that you weren’t safe and you had to defend yourself against them.

Didn’t you always say to others, “My earthly father was always angry and took out his anger on me; my earthly father was emotionally abusive with me”? A Course in Miracles refers to God as our Father. But if you are still thinking your special earthly father who is supposed to be loving is angry and abusive, then isn’t this what you are also thinking your Heavenly Father is?

When ACIM says God is Love and you are thinking your earthly father is supposed to be love but his love seemed so filled with rage and abuse, isn’t that confusing? Doesn’t ACIM say that in the illusion, love is confused with hate? In making up this illusory scenario, you forgot that the illusion started with a single imaginary thought of separation from your Creator. In the illusion, love turned into fear and danger. Love became hate.

So how do I remember what true Love is? How do I remember that God is Love, not hate? How can I remember the truth so I don’t defend against Love? How can I receive Love when I fear Love? How can I remember my true Identity as One with God, my Heavenly Father?

Holy Spirit: What is your reaction towards your partner and your loved ones when you rest in God?

Oh, I experience a deep wellspring of joy and peace and overwhelming love towards them.

Has your partner and loved ones acted in any different way?

No! It’s me that is different when I come from that deep still place within, connected to my Source, my Creator, my Holy Father.

When I am not in that place of stillness, I feel so disconnected, so separate and alone, so unworthy and unloved, unsafe, so in fear. I am always looking outside myself to fill myself up. Then, when that doesn’t happen, I experience rage and dump that rage onto my brothers. I forget we are all One.

So, dear One, the answer is simple. Be still; go within. Rest in God and experience His Love, then think of your brothers. Remember your Oneness and Holiness. Be Happy.

“The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.” (ACIM T-26.IX.6:1)

© 2011, Pathways of Light. http://pathwaysoflight.org
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