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January-March, 2011

Holiness, Speed Bumps and L-L-Love

by Rev. Michael Ciavarella

There is nothing that my holiness cannot do. Wow! Is that powerful or what? If I am holy and there is nothing that my holiness cannot do, that must mean that I cannot fail. That must also mean that I am invulnerable. If I cannot fail and I am invulnerable, then it follows that I can live eternally.

Speed bump! Whoa! Hold on! I don’t think that I want to live eternally. I don’t even think I want to do 100 years. The past 58 were pure agony with the exception of a few smiles here and there. Yet, those smiles were all temporary. Nothing good lasts.

With that last sentence, I can feel the tugging of Holy Spirit as He brings me back to center. Let’s add, “In this world of form, time and space.” Nothing good lasts in this world of form, time and space. Okay. This has been a correction in thought. Isn’t that what this Course is supposed to be about?

The Truth is, only what is good and loving lasts. Those things are eternal. That is what makes up the Kingdom of Heaven. Well, here comes another bumpity-bump in the road.

It’s this whole “L-L-Love” thing. You see, l-l-love hasn’t been very good to me. Any time I have ever expressed l-l-love to a woman, including my wife when I was married, it came back to rip my heart out right from my chest. Other romantic relationships after the marriage proved to be no better. So, anytime “L-L-Love” comes up in the Course, I get the heebee-jeebees.

Oh, here comes Holy Spirit tugging at me again. It seems that when I think of Love, I equate that with romance and sex. Well, what do you expect? I am a man, after all. What other kind of love is there? Love is a lot of kissing and making out and, well, it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to know where I am going with that.

Tug…tug…tug. Okay, so there is more to Love than romance. You see, most guys have a problem using the word love with other guys in the thought. But, Love comes in many colors and flavors. Most guys believe love is only about one thing. Most women claim that there are many, many forms of love. I have had this argument with almost every woman I have ever known.

Holy Spirit sees Love as an understanding that if you Love a brother (either gender) you are loving yourself. After all, there is only One of us “out there.”

There is nothing weird about Loving outside of the romantic structure of this world. All religions teach Love. Traditional Christianity talks about Agape Love. Agape is unconditional. There is nothing new in any of this. “Love thy neighbor as you Love thyself.” That’s one of the Ten Commandments. In our understanding it goes, Love thy neighbor in order to Love thyself and vice versa.

Needless to say, I have been grappling with L-L-Love since I became a student of the Course. I have caused my Mind Healing Partner, Rev. Cerise Smith, to pull her hair out over me and this issue. She’s nearly bald now. Not really.

I have come a long way, but I still have a ways to go. I’ll keep working on this. As the thought comes around, would you all hold me in the Light? This could be the speed bump that is keeping me in hell.

© 2011, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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