I have an “important” meeting tomorrow. I still have about 200 pages of material to read before then. Income tax stuff for the US and Canada is due. I have bills to pay and business paperwork to be completed. My body is fat and tired. My skin is sandpaper dry. My lips are chapped. My house is unlivable after a broken water line caused tens of thousands of dollars of damage. My husband and I are sleeping in a wellsite trailer but showering and eating at my sister’s house which is nearby. Spring in northern Canada is messy, muddy and cool. I could go on and on. (You know how ego can make up sad stories).
Early this morning I went to my regular Wednesday morning get together with friends. Though I haven’t even seen a card in over six months, a friend brought a selection of cards (Holy Spirit is at work preparing me for what’s to come). I pulled a Sonia Choquette card that told me I am depleted (I am); to get help (I need help). Don’t go to someone who is also depleted and don’t try to do it by myself.
Okay. Okay. I know a good counselor who is 80 miles away. I don’t know if he is good at ‘spiritual’ counseling but I trust him and he’s the one who helped me realize I love my husband. I will call him. My son called. His energy is also depleted. I am more committed than ever to call the counselor.
I pick up the mail on my way to our home office situated in my daughter’s house. Miracles News is in the mail. (Hello Holy Spirit!) Of course I won’t be able to read it for a couple of days but I am glad it is here.
I call my daughter to tell her I am on my way to the office. She tells me she doesn’t want to do any paperwork today as she is deeply involved in a project. (Well isn’t this interesting, Holy Spirit? Now I can read some of the articles.) I decide to go back to my sister’s house and read my meeting package. But first I will have lunch and read a bit of the Miracles News. (Holy Spirit is really at it now. I am reading the articles in Miracles News when I should be reading my meeting package but am feeling that all is okay.)
I ate my lunch as mindfully as I could, considering I am reading ‘Tomas Awakened — The Story’ by Nouk Sanchez at the same time. Every sentence speaks to me. One that stood out was: “…if (I) want peace, (I) must give up the idea of conflict entirely and for all time. (T-7.VI.8.9)
Nouk wrote that ‘Any thought, any emotion, any manifestation (any “important” things to do), they’re all just appearances and I choose to look past appearances to the face of Christ.” Okay! Here is the piece de resistance: “She (Nouk) is now offering one-on-one phone mentoring sessions.” Isn’t that nice? “… if you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and for all time.”
Well I couldn’t call her. I didn’t have the courage. “…If you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and for all time.” Okay this isn’t funny. My stomach is getting upset. I am feeling extremely nervous. “…If you want peace, you must give up the idea of conflict entirely and for all time.” BIG LONG PAUSE.
I went onto Nouk’s website and emailed her with a request for a mentoring appointment. Nouk emailed me back and we made an appointment for Saturday April 23, 2011.
About 8:00 p.m. on April 19 I received an hysterical call from my daughter who is on vacation in the States with her husband. He was on a motorcycle and has been hit by a car. We do not know if he will live through the night. “There is no order of difficulty miracles.” (T-1.I.1) I am about to find out how true that is.
“We are going minute by minute.” “Do you want to donate his organs?” We wake up the littlest grandsons: “Boys, your dad is very sick. Poppa and I are leaving right now to be with your Mom and Dad.” One, and only one, big, silent tear from the ten year old falls on the sheet. My heart breaks. I don’t know what to do.
Dear Barb, Clint is in the Safest of Hands. To best help him, we must remember there in only One Power. That is God’s Love. We call in this Power and as hard as it is, we must try to keep our focus on the truth of Love and not on the lie of fear. I join you and your loved ones in this…
With Love, Nouk.
Perhaps you can see how Holy Spirit leads me to the exact person whose words would carry me through the next six months. “Mom, what’s taking you so long to get here?”
”You have reached the end of an ancient journey, not realizing yet that it is over. You are still worn and tired, and the desert’s dust still seems to cloud your eyes and keep you sightless. Yet He Whom you welcomed has come to you, and would welcome you. He has waited long to give you this. Receive it now of Him, for He would have you know Him. Only a little wall of dust still stands between you and your brother. Blow on it lightly and with happy laughter, and it will fall away. And walk into the garden Love has prepared for both of you.” (T-18.VII.13)
I did my very, very best to give every fearful thought to God. At the level of form there have been almost daily miracles since April 19.
Though there is still a long way to go, my two oldest grandsons have their step-father back, my two youngest grandsons have their father back, my daughter has her husband and we have our son-in-law — in a way that no one could have ever imagined or believed.
Rev. Barbara Caldwell, O.M.C. is a Pathways of Light minister living in Las Vegas, Nevada.
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