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April-June, 2010

Listening

by Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan

I was in the midst of taking the Pathways of Light Relationship Enhancement Counseling Training when I realized that I had not been truly listening to others. For me, this course turned out to be much more than it appeared. Maybe I was ready to receive what this course had to give.

What else is there, but to listen? To listen to the word of God, Who is my very Self and to listen to God’s word in another. Dare I speak to a brother without having heard from him first? What shall I say if I have not first heard? And what is it that I am to hear? Why it is the Voice for God speaking through my brother.

As a listener to the Voice for God, it astounded me lately that even though I have become quite astute at listening to God, I have a way to go when it comes to listening to my fellow brothers and sisters. And what good is it to hear God’s Voice in my mind and not listen for His Voice in others?

People have asked me how I hear this Voice. It is simple. I simply come forth with willingness to release all obstacles to hearing the Voice into the Holy Spirit. I ask Holy Spirit to remove all other voices from my awareness, and I maintain a one-pointed focus on hearing this Voice and no other. Yet there is something to be said for listening to the Voice for God not simply within my own mind, but within another. This also requires willingness to be totally present. No judgment, no agenda, no preconceived notions, no plan, no reaction — nothing on which I could build a grievance which I will eventually have to forgive. How do I come into this present-centeredness?

I decide that I want peace above all else. The ego tells me that judgments, agendas, plans…are important protective mechanisms; but all they protect me from is having an experience of connectedness. The ego tries to convince me that disconnectedness is a position of power and keeps me safe. Of course that isn’t true; disconnection breeds a sense of powerlessness and insecurity. Let me share a story.

John comes home after work one evening and there is some discord between us — I haven’t a clue now what that was because of course we are never upset for the reason we think! But I do remember him feeling that he wasn’t being heard.

I decide that I want peace instead of this. I want connection instead of disconnection. What does this decision mean? It doesn’t mean anything without a follow-up action; specifically, the action of choosing to be present and listen. I pondered different ego reactions, like just ignoring the whole thing and chalking it up to both of us being tired and overworked. I could have told him to cook his own dinner. Oh, such an ego assortment of reactions to choose from, but which one? Thankfully, I chose none. I decided that I didn’t want the assortment.

John had left the kitchen and I went to seek after him. I told him I was ready to listen. He leaned against the bookcase while I sat on the bed listening. I called upon Holy Spirit and Jesus and asked for help. I said, “I am willing to be present and listen. I am willing to hear what you would have me hear.”

My mind went blank. What I observed in John while I was listening was truly transformational. I saw a person who wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say or what he wanted me to hear. I saw him trusting his Self enough that he could actually share what came into his mind in the moment.

As he shared about how he was being moved to be in the world in a way more committed to his peace of mind and being truly helpful, the things he considered doing were being reshaped moment to moment. I was aware that as I listened I was having no judgments and reactions to the myriad forms he presented. I wasn’t developing my opinions.

I observed him moving quickly through various scenarios as if he was holding the hand of Holy Spirit and Holy Spirit was leading him out of the maze of possibilities and into the stillness of One. I saw clarity and discernment happening before my eyes without analysis, weighing pros and cons and a lengthy discussion. A peace lingered in the air and so did our connection.

If I desire to hear the Voice for Love, I need not listen but to the one who stands before me. When I sit quietly everyday to listen to the Holy Spirit within, I am to remember that herein is my potential, my training, to be truly listening to my brothers and sisters, as this Voice is within my brothers and sisters.

There is no difference between my quiet listening time in solitude and moving through the world and listening. If I experience them as different, then I am trying to keep God separate and special, which is the ego’s spiritual plan. In this perception, I will be unable to truly listen to anyone. I may be able to repeat back to someone what she said, but she will not feel heard because I didn’t really hear anything.

We have all had that experience where we share something with someone, we don’t feel heard so we ask them if they heard us. They repeat back what we just said, but we still don’t feel like we have been heard. That’s because we haven’t been heard. We’ve been recorded!

If I am going to stand there taking up time and space “listening” to someone, why not do all of us a favor and drop the minimum social listening requirement and be present and truly listen. Yes, our brain hears the ego layer on top, but in our willingness, our heart and mind hear Holy Spirit beneath the appearance. Imagine, we could be tuning into Love all day and extending love all day, not just while in prayer and meditation.

The way to practice hearing the Voice for God is to truly listen to another, for it is here we experience our connection. It is not that God is in this connection; rather, our connectedness is God.

During a Healing Touch session the other day, I heard the words, “God Is the Oneness.” These were more than mere words. I experienced that the way we experience God is to experience our connectedness one-to-one. Forgiveness is how we experience our connection. Listening is forgiveness.

A couple of months ago I was asking Jesus about true freedom. I was caught in a moment of thinking that there must be something I need to do to be free. He responded, “Mary, you are already free.” When I remember I am free, I am willing to truly listen because there is nothing anyone could say to threaten my freedom. Jesus shared the following words with me that I feel apply to listening and hearing the Voice for God within another:

When you see that you are already free you will no longer want to imprison others with your thoughts, words and deeds. No free person would ever want to imprison another. When you experience true freedom, all you want is for everyone else to have it too. We are all free or none of us are free.

As I listen, I share my freedom.

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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