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January-March, 2012

On the Road to Forgiveness

Rev. Rebecca Brown, O.M.C.

As I reflect upon my past, I can find countless things that I feel that I should or could have changed or done differently. For example, here I am in my 50’s working on a doctorate degree in psychology that my ego tells me I should have completed 30 years ago.

I hear the ego’s voice scolding me, ”If you had only done the right thing, you could have had a different life. You could have had a better job and a successful career and a lot less pain brought on by near poverty.”

Those types of thoughts and perceptions of our circumstances can lead to serious depression and greater guilt and fear and they often have. Sometimes it will take me a little time before I remember to allow my higher Self’s voice to speak and that voice has something so different to say. That sweet Voice reminds me, “You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your experiences and lessons have brought you here to the present where the knowledge you are gaining can be the most beneficial to yourself and others.” 

That change in perception allows me to breathe deeper, relax, forgive myself and have gratitude for life instead of fear. I know it is the Voice of God’s Love and His truth.

Recently, there was a situation within my extended family that I reacted to with internalized anger and resentment. I felt victimized and my ego could think of many reasons why I didn’t want to be forgiving but none of the reasons bought me any peace of all. They only served to fuel a fire that my heart really wanted extinguished. When I decided to step back and give loving thoughts to the supposed whole problem and process, I could see clearly that the person I was really angry at was myself and it was myself that I was having difficulty forgiving. Moreover, the events that were upsetting me were my own creations. I had manifested them because I had been sending an unloving vibration to the universe and I could change it by sending a loving vibration instead.

So that is what I have chosen to do and things are changing. As we learn in A Course in Miracles, Heaven is a decision that we can make and we can make it now. We can change many things by choosing to love and to forgive in this moment. When we make the choice to love and to forgive ourselves, that love and forgiveness is extended to the world around us. The vibration of our energy changes and so does the reflection of the world that surrounds us. I am so grateful to God for that. So very grateful.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. http://pathwaysoflight.org
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