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April-June, 2018

Pause to Move from Anger to Being Present

by Rev. Mary Gerard Lenihan, O.M.C.

“What is a common cause of anger?” and “How can The Pause Practice help?”

I experience that I am more susceptible to becoming angry when I am not present. That is, I am distracted, not focused on something worthy of my attention, following thoughts that are leading me down a negative path, making assumptions about what someone is thinking, jumping to conclusions about a situation, being easily offended etc. When I am distracted, me-character thinking leads me astray and vulnerable to irritation and anger.

Now, here is another question: “How did I become distracted in the first place?” I was distracted because I wasn’t present! How can I be more present? Practice the Pause! Being distracted is like standing on shaky ground; one isn’t balanced, stable and prepared to act.

So, why aren’t we more present throughout the course of a normal day? After all, conversations would go more smoothly, communication is less likely to become confused, we would make far less errors, be more productive and efficient in our work, and we would be less likely to latch on to passing feelings.

How come I choose to be angry over choosing to be present? In my experience here is what happens: When I choose to be angry, upset or irritated, the reason that is happening is because my overall mindset is not at peace; there is an inner conflict causing me to feel out of sorts. This can cause disagreements, divisiveness, and strife.

When I Pause for Help, I am now able to be present with my experience. Often simply being present to myself, no judgment or analysis, just simply observing my inner discord can bring clarity about what is bothering me. It can be as simple as seeing I am tired, or guidance about needing to schedule some fun time. It can also be something deeper and I can continue to Pause for Inspiration and My Helpful Self, in which I inevitably am shown helpful changes I can make in my perceptions, thought life or something I need to change in how I am living my life — My Helpful Self leads me in the right direction.

Pause is a practice in opening to being present with myself and others, instead of angry. Being present inspires us to see our connectedness to one another and opens our heart and mind to being compassionate with one another. You can Experience a Whole New You!

Jeffrey Taylor, Community Business Liaison with STLJCC said something to me this week which I thought was powerful. In so many words he said that once we choose to Pause and make a choice to do life differently, for the better, a whole new experience shows up, and now we see that we can’t go back! How I take what he said is, once I choose to Pause and Step Back from my angry self, and I open to my Inspired Mind, this Vast View shows up. Instead of looking to conflict to make me feel strong, appear powerful, or to avoid looking within, in this Vast View I experience true inner strength which is grounded in our connection to one another and the Peace we share.

© 2018, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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