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October-December, 2004

Pouring Rains Eventually Baptize

by Rev. Bob Thompson, O.M.C.

Recently I have had about 20 lengthy and intensive interactions, with a friend sharing my home, who has been going through multiple personal crises. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross frequently came to mind during these emotion-filled and thought-provoking episodes because of the grieving my friend was enmeshed in.

Repeatedly sliding into the different steps that a dying person may go through: denial (Why me God?), anger (at the whole world, God, or self, or all of the above), depression (no way out), acceptance (of what is, and finally, peace) and even bargaining (God, I promise to do such and such if you will only do this or that).

In the beginning, it seemed quite chaotic to me. But as I learned to recognize the continued reappearances of those five siblings: denial, anger, depression, acceptance (and bargaining), it was obvious that they received so much attention because this was my friend’s many-faceted approach to coping with the death of one’s perceived greatest personal treasures, as well as a lifelong way of life. Occasionally, when the emotions and vocabulary were strong, I initially forgot that I was looking into a mirror, forgetting that my friend is myself, and that he or she, is really me, speaking to myself.

The short of it is that I have been in intensive “mirror therapy” for an unusually long, and deeply moving period of time. Perhaps this is inevitable, when one truly listens.

We have both been blessed with new views and perspectives. We both know now that we have gifted each other and self. Our shared path into the verbal and emotional mazes of fear has been truly a heroic journey. We have dared to look into the many faces of fear — the monsters of self. These fears with their many faces, frequently appear in so many of our daily mirrors. But my friend and I, after weeks of emotional and fearful searching, have only found that every mirror contains only our own fearful and sometimes puzzled faces.

We have explored new territories into self and claimed them as our own. Two pioneers, committed to steadily inching along towards peace and happiness. Our progress is obvious to us both. We are in agreement that neither of us will ever be the same.

A great way to enrich yourself is to listen to a troubled friend. And if you really want to be rich, listen a lot.

© 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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