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April-June, 2014

Safe in God While I Heal

by Rev. Peggy Rivera, O.M.C.

For the past two weeks I have struggled with what started out as a virus and then soon became a lung infection. I have had asthma for many years along with several other health conditions I have been concerned about. One night I became so distressed over not being able to get any air I considered calling 911.

My husband works away and commutes so I am alone part of the time. I cried out to Holy Spirit, “What do I need to learn from this? Where do I need to heal my mind?”

When I ask for help, it doesn’t always come as words; it is often symbols that appear to me. I saw flashbacks of my younger sister nearly dying from asthma and then I saw my father being put on a ventilator. I said, “Holy Spirit I am so frightened, I cannot breathe and I am afraid I may not make it through the night.”

That night we had a teleconference class for ACIM Practitioner Course 910: Living I The World While Waking Up. When I shared about my experience to the group, some of the students understood and offered Love and Light to me. I felt held in that cocoon of Love and Light all night after that. After the teleconference session, our mind healing partner (facilitator) emailed me to tell me that I didn’t need to believe I was bound to what happened to my family.

I again thought about the flash backs I experienced before and asked Holy Spirit for help again. I repeated from the Text, I do not know what anything, including this, means. And so I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now. (T-14.XI.6:7-9) This is what we had been discussing during the teleconference session. I was just listening because of the circumstances, but I am so glad I did.

I went to pray and I told God, “I Love you Father and I know you Love me and I will bask in your Love through the night. I am safe in your Love.” Soon I felt calmer and I noticed I was breathing more rhythmically and relaxed.

I continued to have flash backs throughout the night. I remembered my brother Jimmy taking his last breath as I held him in my arms and my mother struggling as she took her last breath. I thought, “I wonder if this is about fear or loss?” The flash backs continued, but now they were about grievances I had held about being mistreated. My thoughts felt like a part of me was in conversation with Holy Spirit about feeling like my life has been a little bit of a battle ground and I have had to fight to survive. Then I heard, “Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.” Wow! No wonder I haven’t received some miraculous healing. I would not have grown through it. I realized the pictures were stimuli to show me what was in my inner world. I will heal, but it may not happen overnight. I will use every chance to learn how to heal my mind.

If I just woke up one day and didn’t have asthma anymore, I might not have been able to heal my thoughts, so I don’t think the healing would be complete. It is not easy, but I did not receive a promise that it would be. As long as I keep in mind that God only wants what is good for me and He Loves me, I am willing to keep working on the goal.

© 2014, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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