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October-December, 2016

Sometimes the Miracle Is “Who Cares?”

by Rev. Carly D. Glasmyre, O.M.C.

Sometimes I think the miracle has to be a big, momentous thing. But sometimes it’s as simple as Holy Spirit saying, “Who cares?”

Recently in the weekly study group call I run, I was sharing about some struggles I’ve been having with my job. One of the participants began to coach me around my job and ask questions to help me take action. She did this out of love and out of the desire to support me, but all I felt was embarrassed.

All these thoughts came up —“I’m such a bad minister. I’ve lost control of the call. I made this all about me. How can I help people when I need so much help myself?”

I felt anger and shame. I was annoyed with Holy Spirit for letting this happen to me. (This is one of my favorite ways to avoid responsibility — believing that Holy Spirit “lets” things happen to me.) I reached out to my facilitator Maria Felipe for help. 

The Course says, “Because the miracle worker has heard God’s Voice, he strengthens It in a sick brother by weakening his belief in sickness, which he does not share. The power of one mind can shine into another, because all the lamps of God were lit by the same spark.” T-10.V.7:4-6

This is why Pathways of Light is so important. It has created a network of miracle workers that, at different times, can shine into each other’s minds and help each other hear God’s Voice again.

Maria’s mind shined into mine, and reignited my inner spark. She did not believe in my sickness (that I am this separate body who can get embarrassed, who can be affected by the world around me) and I experienced a miracle — and that miracle could be summed up in two words: Who cares?

Who cares that I was coached on the study group call? Who cares that I am supposed to be the “leader”? Who cares that I’m the minister so that means I should be in charge?

That experience does not have to mean anything. I don’t have to make it a big deal. It’s just an outward symbol of my belief in my unworthiness, and my underlying belief that I want to be separate and special. I want to be the minister, the leader, the person in charge.

My ego wants to hijack the role of “minister” and use it for its own grandiosity. It’s always looking for ways to say “me, me, me! I did this, I did that, I healed that person, I help people. I’m good. I’m special.”

But what I forgot is that Holy Spirit is the minister, the leader, the teacher, the healer, not me. My ministry isn’t about what happens out there, but which teacher I am choosing.

When I focus on how being a minister should look, I avoid my real function — forgiving the thoughts of separation in my mind that appear inside and outside of me — and lose out on the peace, joy, and love that come from letting Holy Spirit lead.

I am committed to letting the Holy Spirit guide me, and I am grateful for the opportunity to see myself differently and experience the healing miracle.

© 2016, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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