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January-March, 2016

The Body Is a Learning Tool

by Rev. Rosemarie Tropf, O.M.C.

Recently I was on a kind of break from ACIM. Doesn’t that sound strange? Or maybe not to some of you. I had finished the courses necessary to get my ministerial credentials done faithfully for a couple of years, almost daily. I also did one more course afterwards, faithfully until near the end of that one.

Then I began to procrastinate. I took art classes. Then my fatigue issue increased to the point where I felt bogged down in life generally. I told myself I was still working the Course because I routinely asked Holy Spirit questions like, “help me to see this differently.” Or, “Holy Spirit I do not know what this means,” referring to my daily problems with fatigue. I would read a lesson from Myron’s daily postings and read it through it as fast as I could because I was in a hurry to go nowhere and do nothing except feel fatigued all day.

I began to think about how the Course says fatigue is dispiritedness. That means I must be lacking inspiration. I argued with myself and Holy Spirit, “How can that be? I talk to Holy Spirit every day.”

Then, on a whim, I signed up for the three day Miracle Share Conference 2015. Before the first morning was done I saw my “whim” really was Holy Spirit speaking to me because listening to the speakers I realized I was dispirited. I was spending 23 hours and 45 minutes a day asking ego mind what to do: Where is the cure? Why am I in pain? etc. I was listening to the wrong teacher about 98% of my time. The answers I got seemed quite logical, by the way.

I did not receive answers that sound insane in the ego world. Answers like, I have an organic illness, so of course I’m fatigued. I have stress so of course I’m fatigued. I’m dealing with it taking the correct vitamins and medical care so there’s nothing else I can do about this body being in the condition it’s in. I’ve done everything I can responsibly do. I’m responsible. I ‘m not taking prescription drugs, which I’ve been offered. That’s very spiritual of me. I’m eating only organic foods and taking vitamins and herbs. That’s very spiritual of me too. See? So, I am not dispirited, no sir, not me. I am the exception, because I am truly physically ill. It’s not me, it’s this body. Everybody agrees with that in the dream, so it makes more sense to go along with that. Plus, people in the dream agree with me and don’t hassle me.

See how sane the ego sounds in the dream? The body is always the target! Not my thoughts creating the body. Oh, and if my mind is creating this illness, then I am truly guilty. Disgustingly guilty to the point that my self-hatred increases to unbearable proportions. Better not look there. Besides, that can’t be true because I’ve been doing the Course for so many years.

But, if I’m truly honest, lately I haven’t really been doing the Course consistently. More guilt. I’ve never finished the lessons. I’ve hopped around a lot over the years. More guilt.

The Miracle Share conference was created on the theme of how the Workbook Lessons, done on a daily basis, (without guilt) help us find peace and love. By the end of the second day, I decided to start the daily lessons with the intention to understand them.

I began listening in my car to the Text. On page 15, Section VII titled, Distortions of Miracle Impulses, the first paragraph says, “Your distorted perceptions produce a dense cover over miracle impulses, making it hard for them to reach your own awareness. The confusion of miracle impulses with physical impulses is a major perceptual distortion. Physical implulses are misdirected miracle impulses.” (T-1.VII.1:1-3)

When I read, “The confusion of miracle impulses with physical impulses are misdirected miracle impulses,” I was astounded. I got it! My desire is for the miracle of peace and love, the miracle God gives us every moment. But my miracles are blocked by “dense cover,” so I don’t receive them but I desire them. The misdirected impulse is I think I want to “feel” better, which translates to wanting a pain free body, a strong, athletic body. I think if I achieve that I will feel peace and love. So I direct my spiritual studies there. Maybe if I feel peace in my mind, then my body will feel healthy. So I wait… and I wait… and still there is pain. Well that didn’t work, the ego mind says.

So I try again. Maybe I will do the daily lesson today and that will make me pain free. Maybe if I look at how nasty the ego mind can be, my pain will go away. (more guilt) Maybe if I see how I attack myself, or others, my pain will go away (more guilt). Maybe if I forgive every thing I can think of the pain will go away (more guilt). Maybe, Holy Spirit will make the pain go away. Pain still there, so more guilt is added to the dense cover.

Of course the pain does not go away because, if you notice, every sentence has only ego mind truth in there, which is… pain is real. As long as I make it real, it cannot go away. What disappears from my awareness when I think like this is God’s Love. However, I can use the body as a tool to change my perceptions until I “know” that truth.

Because, on the same page in the Text (page 15) it says, “You can use your body best to help you enlarge your perception so you can achieve real vision, of which the physical eye is incapable. Learning to do this is the body’s only true usefulness.” (T-1.VII.2:4-5)

Real vision would be seeing the world as guiltless, as innocent, as the part of the dream. The result of using my body to enlarge my perception, to correct my misdirected desire for miracles has been a lessening of my fatigue by about 40-50%. I am now daily participating with my grandchildren, enjoying outings with my friends more often and feeling an interest in life again. Thank you Holy Spirit. Thank you Daniel, Corrine and Craig for the Miracle Share Conference.

In Gratitude, …Rosemarie Tropf

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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