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January-March, 2010

The One About My Hospitality

by Rev. Stephan Mead

I’ve only told this story a couple of times. Apparently, my mind is still providing a safe haven for some guilt and shame. Isn’t free will great!

A couple of weeks ago, I was attending a weekend conference of almost 1,000 people who, along with me, belong to a fellowship whose main purpose is basically to help others with a common affliction to lead a happy and peaceful life based on spiritual principles. Besides larger assemblies that are held several times a year, it is quite common for much smaller groups of us to meet a couple of times a week. One of the highpoints of the conference is reconnecting with friends and loved ones that I haven’t been in touch with for awhile.

“Hey Steve,” a friend asked, “Does that guy Dave still go to your meeting on Sunday night?” “If he does, I guess I won’t be seeing you there, as I can’t stand to be in the same room with him.”

Before I replied, I got quiet for a minute. I had known Dave for 15 years. He looks like a wild animal, and smells even worse. Sometimes the aroma from his urine soaked clothes actually makes ones eyes water. Dave lived along side the freeway in some bushes about two blocks from my house. For years and years, he would stop by for a cup of coffee, maybe a sandwich and a couple of bucks. Dave was known at some meetings because we welcomed (?) everyone and always had a pot of coffee on. I finally replied to my friend, “You can be certain that Dave won’t be at the Sunday meeting or, any other meeting.”

It was late December, 2006. I had been an ordained minister for about three months and I felt filled with gratitude and love from all I had learned going through the ordination process. The weather in Seattle had taken a turn for the worse; the city was almost shut down because of an unusual arctic ice storm.

Dave was coming by my house more and more frequently. I started to not see him as my brother, but rather as a bother.

One evening he asked if he could spend the night on my living room floor. The outside temperature was in the teens and it was snowing. My internal response to his very existence went from, “he’s a bother” to “I hate him! Why can’t he be grateful for all that I’ve given him over the years?” “Why doesn’t he go find a shelter?” “I’ll never get the stink out.”

Very reluctantly I said, “Yes, you can stay tonight.” The very next evening, Dave came by and asked to stay again. With even more reluctance (just short of open hostility) I again agreed.

The third evening I was ready for him. When I got home, I turned out the downstairs lights and spent the evening in my room… probably reading the Course!

Early in the morning on December 23rd, the doorbell rang and my first thought was that it was Dave looking for another hand out. Was I ever wrong! At the door was a man from the coroner’s office with my business card. He said he found my card on a transient that had frozen to death during the night, and could I make an identification?

I didn’t hate Dave anymore. I couldn’t believe what I had not done for him. I never felt worse than I did right then ever! I told this story to a couple of people and the feedback was “Steve, don’t feel badly, you did what you could.” The problem was I did feel badly and I didn’t do what I could have.

Welcome to my heart Mr. guilt and Mr. shame, please stay for a very long time!

Now, three years later, I am reacting emotionally to the “Dave experience” like it happened yesterday. “How can I see this differently?”

In A Course in Miracles, the word “shame” isn’t even mentioned until the 24th chapter. I read the chapter again asking the Holy Spirit for a new experience. Not surprisingly, I got exactly that.

With considerable effort, I tried to empty my mind of the judgment I had rendered on myself. The words of chapter 24 flowed into my heart and I realized that my friend Dave gave up his life for me, so I could make a correction in my thoughts that had been keeping me from seeing the truth, “God gave you and your brother Himself, and to remember this is now the only purpose that you share.” (T-24.l.7:5)

And in the next paragraph, “You would oppose this course because it teaches you you and your brother are alike. You have no purpose that is not the same.” (T-24.1.8:6-7)

Thank you my friend Dave for the love you have given me!

PS. If you’re ever in Seattle and need a place to stay, chances are I won’t turn you away!

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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