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April-June, 2010

The Prodigal Son Returns?

by Rev. Jay Seppanen

I’ve been dallying in new areas of opportunity in this heartfelt desire to be of service. After ordination I was looking forward to helping others in need of listening, compassion, and help in making them aware of the small, still voice of Wisdom that is within. To date, I haven’t really had much of a calling from others to do that and I couldn’t figure out why! “Holy Spirit, what’s the deal? You know how much I want to do this work, so what’s the hang-up?”

The answer came about a year and a half later when I was given a golden opportunity to go back to school and pursue a Master’s degree in Community Counseling. I still remember to this day how the knowing that I could finally do this came to me like a bolt out of the blue. “Wow! I can finally go back to school!” I said to myself out on the dock at the manufacturing company where I was working full-time. Because I was in a position to do so, I was able to leave my job and go back to school full-time. During my education I noticed they spent very little time discussing the importance of spirituality and faith in terms of maintaining the ability to cope in the secular world. Yet spirituality, it seems to me, is the very foundation of being able to cope! But I really wanted to learn the secular side of counseling theory and interventions too, so that I could make use of both as the opportunity presented itself in clinical practice. Three years later I have my ordination, a Master’s degree in Counseling, and after taking the requisite exam, my license to practice as a professional counselor in the state of Illinois.

I am thoroughly convinced that our Creator has a magnificent sense of humor as He watches my furious antics: My ego-self perceives that I’ve stumbled through a number of attempts to do this kind of work without success, which leaves me in a perpetual state of confusion. Again, “What’s the Deal?” I’d taken the state mandated training for rape crisis intervention in my late 20’s only to find out that men weren’t really encouraged to provide this kind of service. I’d actually read that in an article by an esteemed professional in the field, while I was in the program. Okay. That’s not going to work. Then, years later, I looked into going back to school for a Master’s in social work… Hmm. Can’t afford it; can’t work while I’m doing my clinicals. OK, that’s out. Then I received my ordination… limited response. Hmm. Something’s up… And finally at age 50 I earn a Master’s in Counseling and my license to practice. TaDa! Here I am!… What’s that? I can’t practice privately until I get my Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) credential? And that’s how many years down the road? At least two? So what’s my option? Go to work at an agency… (Okay, I can do that), but it’s tough to get into the field because of all the more experienced competition? (There’s got to be a joke here somewhere!)

Amidst all this ceaseless ego talk I once again turned to Holy Spirit for an answer and was directed to Lesson 135: “If I defend myself I am attacked.” “What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?” (W-135.18:1) and: “Your present trust in Him is the defense that promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy that constantly increases, as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality.” (W-135.19:1)

I realized that I may very well be exactly where I need to be regardless of the expected or desired outcome for all of my efforts, and that I had to be very aware of the ego’s tendency to read too much importance into all elements of the “dream.”  I have to continue to remember that all things of this life that come and go, that fade and rust, have no real consequence in the grand scheme. Events will occur as they need to, and maybe, just maybe I’ve already been doing the work I have always wanted to do simply by remembering my true role as being one with all of you and with our Creator!

© 2010, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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