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October-December, 2015

Trust Walk with Holy Spirit

by Rev. Trish Kearns, O.M.C.

Two months ago I purchased a condo on the beach in Ormond Beach, Florida. It was a vacation rental and it seemed perfect for me to make use of various times throughout the year to vacation as well as to visit Pathways of Light. Holy Spirit pretty much “dropped” this condo onto my lap. All I did was make the decision that I am ready to follow His Will and not my own. Within one week of having my offer on the condo accepted, a woman offered me $20,000 above market value for my current residence which was not even on the market. So I took a few days to work with Holy Spirit and see if this was His Will for me. Somehow I signed the papers to sell my home.

This has probably been one of the most difficult decisions I have made in my life up to this point. I love my house more than words can describe. I have poured my heart and soul into it for the last 14+ years. I planted 80+ trees along with many perennials and made the house exactly how I wanted it. Everything was perfect! It has been my sanctuary and haven… all the comforts of the body. I have had many moments of depression and fear and confusion since signing the contract to sell. I continue to give it to Holy Spirit and have watched a very interesting unfolding occur.

Two days after I signed the contract I was given a critical work project that had a very aggressive deliverable schedule. I about collapsed in distraught and was on my knees begging God to just take me as I did not “get it.” I am now working 12-15 hour days consistently.  So here I am packing up 14+ years of my life, “giving up” my beautiful home… the only “true” home I ever have had… the longest I have ever lived anywhere… moved 11 times in 9 years before moving here… moving across country… in the midst of heavy workload… all on the promptings of Holy Spirit. I asked Holy Spirit to please make the contract fall through if it’s not His Will… I begged and begged for this many times… yet here I am, one week away from my move and it is all coming together… people and situations presented themselves that allowed for this to happen relatively smoothly given the immensity of the situation. Looking back I see that Holy Spirit has kept me busy so I do not have time to wallow in what it is I think I am giving up.

This is such a trust walk it is almost unimaginable to me. I was led to section 4 in the Manual for Teachers “What Are the Characteristics of God’s Teachers? I: Trust A: Development of Trust” (M-4.I.A) pg.10. It really hit home the different stages of teachers. I realized that I am in “stage 3 — a period of relinquishment” moving into “stage 4 — a period of settling down.”

What I am particularly recognizing is that Holy Spirit is showing me that all I have felt was valuable has actually been valueless. This has been painful for me. Jesus tells us about this in stage 3. “If this is interpreted as giving up the desirable, it will engender enormous conflict. Few teachers of God escape this distress entirely.” (M-4.I.5:2-3)

He then encourages us, “Through this he learns that where he anticipated grief, he finds a happy lightheartedness instead; where he thought something was asked of him, he finds a gift bestowed on him.” (M-4.I.5:8)

I have also felt comfort in what He tells us in stage 4: “This is a quiet time, in which the teacher of God rests a while in reasonable peace.” (M-4.I.6:2) “Yet when he is ready to go on, he goes with mighty companions beside him. Now he rests a while, and gathers them before going on. He will not go on from here alone.” (M-4.I.6:11-13)

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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