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April-June, 2011

What Are You and What Do You Want Now?

by Rev. Gary W. Ledson

These questions never go away, do they? You were always asked, “What do you want to be?” We wrapped who you were and what you wanted to be into a job title. We did this because we saw ourselves as an extension of our ego — what we did, our jobs, families, roles, our bodies, our possessions, our traditions, even our culture.

We identified with our egos. We still do. But Jesus told the rich man who wanted to enter Heaven to let go of all of it. Was it the money he had to let go of? Was it just the attachment to money he had to let go? Or, was it to let go of all attachments, all things not of God… All thoughts not of Love? Was it to let go of all the personal ideas we use to identify with, to make ourselves special and different, to separate ourselves from the rest of the world, and peoplekind? Was it to let go of our self-made separation from God? Or, ultimately, was it to let go of our attempts to separate from our one, true Self?

But who and what am I if I don’t identify with my ego/personal self?

I was blessed to be able to attend the recent ACIM Conference. Thank you Spirit for the generosity that came through several people to make it so. There I received useful insights to address the above questions that I’d like to share with you.

Lessons 25 (I do not know what anything is for) and 50 (I am sustained by the Love of God) were referred to a lot. Mary Lenihan relayed how allowing yourself to be vulnerable to the Holy Spirit would change your life. How could that happen if I know what everything is for?

Nouk Sanchez spoke of how she suffered trying to understand Tomas’ transformation. She suffered until Spirit showed her she could be happy if she was willing to let go of her “personal” interests, her personal “right” understanding.

Mary Stoelting expressed how Spirit guided her to change her “bummer” of a flight experience to a beautiful one and a funny story to boot. Mary was willing to let go of what was happening, of what it meant and was for, to let Spirit inside.

Regina Dawn Akers told of when she let go of her “fear of being afraid” she allowed room for God to take care of her in so unexpected ways. And Marriane Williamson emphasized the importance of our daily practice and that in our desire to abide with God we can experience our identity in the Truth, in God.

Through my daily practice of being in the Holy Spirit, I no longer believe I am who I once believed I was. By asking what I want to do, not from a place of fear or gain for a separate self but from a place in which I am carried by the Love of God, I can experience the surrender of my ego/personal self. By coming from my True identity I am now in my “right” mind to choose what I truly desire to demonstrate in this world. 

At the Conference, I got to be around others who are willing to replace their personal/ego identity with their True Selves. That is what I want to do now. With and through each of you. Thank you for each of you.

© 2011, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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