VIII. The Only Real Relationship, P 2
2 Hear Him gladly, and learn of Him that you have need of no special relationships at all. You but seek in them what you have thrown away. And through them you will never learn the value of what you have cast aside, but still desire with all your heart. Let us join together in making the holy instant all that there is, by desiring that it be all that there is. God’s Son has such great need of your willingness to strive for this that you cannot conceive of need so great. Behold the only need that God and His Son share, and will to meet together. You are not alone in this. The will of your creations calls to you, to share your will with them. Turn, then, in peace from guilt to God and them.
Journal
Oh my! I want to answer this call from Jesus. I want to desire that the Holy Instant be all that there is. I want to share my will with my creations. I want to turn in peace from guilt. Turning from guilt is the answer to the rest and it is so simple that anyone can do it. And yet, I seem to struggle with this. It is not a struggle to notice guilt and turn away, but the struggle is that I seem to pick it back up again almost as fast as I let it go.
Even as I was thinking how much I want to do what Jesus is asking us to do in this paragraph, I realized that the moment before I was thinking that my daughter ignored my last two texts. She texted me, but it was not in answer to my questions, it was to ask me a favor. I felt resentful. This is the same thing as saying that she is guilty. It feels frustrating and discouraging that I keep doing this.
Would I turn my back on God, on Heaven, and on my creations just so that I can resent my daughter and see her as guilty? Apparently so, at least for a time until I come to my senses. Of course, I am not going to stop being vigilant for opportunities to choose again, but I will be so happy to finally convince myself that I never want to see anyone guilty again.
My efforts are making a dent in the belief in guilt. I don’t actually experience guilt as often as I used to and I always turn from it eventually and usually soon, so that is encouraging. Holy Spirit, I ask You for help. I want to give up on guilt as some kind of solution. I know that transferring my own sense of guilt to others isn’t helping and I even know that I am not guilty. How could I be? I am as God created me…still… regardless of appearances. Please purify my thoughts and heal my mind of all that is not truth. Thank you.
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