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Study of Text, C 14: I. The Conditions of Learning, P 2. 2-2-17

I. The Conditions of Learning, P 2

Journal

This paragraph made me cry, first for the insanity of it, then that my Creator placed the Holy Spirit in me where I placed the dream. My way out is assured. We made the world we see and we hold it dear regardless of the pain and suffering that is its effect. We made it in such a way that we could believe in it and so it seems very real to us.

We made it from our thoughts and it is in allowing those thoughts to be changed that we will extricate ourselves from the dream as we are ready. But because of the power of our thoughts, this dream is not just precious to us, it is logical and seems to make sense and so even as we begin to awaken from it, it is very confusing.

The ego mind argues against awakening using its insane logic to keep us engaged in the stories. Holy Spirit is helping us to see that logical or not, it leads to nothing. At first when I began to study A Course in Miracles, I believed what I was reading, but I did not practice it all the time. When I did practice it, I did so only partially. There would be circumstances that I held apart from my practice.

For instance, I held some grievances that I justified and would not let go. I would say that it was impossible, that I was trying and couldn’t, but that is never true. If we keep an idea it is because we want that idea. We believe it holds some value for us and we cannot afford to let it go. Somewhere along the line as I became more committed to this path, I let go of the idea that I couldn’t and simply accepted I didn’t want to. Then I was ready to want the change. I have never released a grievance that I regretted losing.

It took me a long time to fully accept what Jesus is telling us here. This world and the thoughts that made it are completely insane. There is no part of it that is wholly sane. Every ego thought in my mind is affected by this confused and hurtful perception. Now that I understand this, I don’t have any thoughts I am not willing to question.

I still get confused at times because instead of being the observer and staying detached, I get caught up in the story itself. But even in my confusion I know what I want. I want the peace of God and having that one invariable goal is like having an anchor that keeps me from drifting too far afield. I always, sooner or later, come back to my only goal. I no longer question the insanity of the world we made, nor do I pretend I have no control. This is making a huge difference.

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