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Study of Text, C 14: VIII. The Holy Meeting Place, P 5. 6-9-17

The Holy Meeting Place, P 4
5 The link with which the Father joins Himself to those He gives the power to create can never be dissolved. Heaven itself is union with all of creation, and with its one Creator. And Heaven remains the Will of God for you. Lay no gifts other than this upon your altars, for nothing can coexist with it. Here your little offerings are brought together with the gift of God, and only what is worthy of the Father will be accepted by the Son, for whom it is intended. To whom God gives Himself, He is given. Your little gifts will vanish on the altar, where He has placed His Own.

Journal

A strange thing happened when I read this. I had a clear thought that I am in union with God and all creation and that I create through the power given me by God. I am a creator as God is a Creator. I don’t know, this was meaningful to me in a way that has never happened before. I saw the whole world fall away and everything that I think I am went with it and it scared me.

It all happened in a nanosecond, and I was surprised by it. I guess the biggest surprise was that I felt fear at the thought. That was, of course, the ego self that had the fear reaction. It prefers to think of itself as small and inadequate.  It is afraid of the idea of that kind of power. That part of the mind has reason to fear power.

Look how much suffering has occurred with the misuse of power, eons of suffering, a whole world of suffering. The ego believes it is better to stay small than to take responsibility for what has been done, and far better to stay small than to assume responsibility for its own power. Safer, it thinks, to deny it is doing anything at all. Fortunately, I know too much to bury my head in the sand anymore, and while there is fear, there is also acceptance. Evidently, there is that bit of conflicting desires, still, but not forever.

How does the ego mind manage to stay so deeply in denial and why do I allow it? Well, the why is clear. I am afraid of what has been done in the name of exploration, of discovery, of innocent curiosity. The answer to this is that nothing has actually been done, and I am both innocent and safe. I am slowly coming around to this truth, but obviously, I still do not entirely believe that my dream is not reality.

The first part of that question, how do I do it, how do I keep the illusion going, is also clear to me. Instead of accepting God’s gift of union and creation, which scare me, I accept the ego’s gifts of self-identity. I tell myself it is a gift of great value and I spend lifetime after lifetime trying to make those gifts more valuable through improving them and adding to them.

In this life story, I am mother and grandmother. I have been a successful worker and wage earner. I am teacher and preacher and author. I am respected and appreciated. I have spent a lifetime developing these gifts, improving on them and convincing myself they matter. Am I supposed to just throw this all away now that I have achieved so much I was trying for? Could it be I have spent lifetime after lifetime valuing what has no value?

Everything that is part of how I describe myself or think of myself is a gift of ego to take the place of my true identity. Here is what I know about my identity as taught me by Jesus. I am spirit. I am eternal. I am invulnerable. I am divine. I am part of God, in God, like God. I am a creator as God is a creator. I am pure love. My mind is so vast that it holds the universe. I am fearless. I am whole, complete and unassailable. I am beautiful. I am holy. None of this is questionable and it is true for eternity. So which do I want to identify with, the ego gifts I have been offered, or the truth of what I am?

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