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Study of Text, Chapter 11: V: The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 2. 10-6-15

V. The “Dynamics” of the Ego, P 2
2 What is healing but the removal of all that stands in the way of knowledge? And how else can one dispel illusions except by looking at them directly, without protecting them? Be not afraid, therefore, for what you will be looking at is the source of fear, and you are beginning to learn that fear is not real. You are also learning that its effects can be dispelled merely by denying their reality. The next step is obviously to recognize that what has no effects does not exist. Laws do not operate in a vacuum, and what leads to nothing has not happened. If reality is recognized by its extension, what leads to nothing could not be real. Do not be afraid, then, to look upon fear, for it cannot be seen. Clarity undoes confusion by definition, and to look upon darkness through light must dispel it.

Journal
Fear is still very real to me, and I know that undoing this belief is one of the things I came here to do, maybe the only thing since all others, like victimhood, are related to fear. We cannot undo what we know nothing about, and so I had to experience fear to do this work. My mom helped set this up for me. There was a strong belief in fear in my mom’s mind and so many of the images she made were fearful ones. As a result, I learned fear, and at the same time, I learned what the belief in fear does to us. My mom also led me to A Course in Miracles and studied along side of me. So, I have all I need to do this work and complete my purpose.

I understand what Jesus is telling me in this paragraph. The way the belief in fear is undone is to look directly at it, and to do so with the Holy Spirit, that is to see fear through His Light. Like my mom, I have the belief in fear in my mind and so I have fearful circumstances in my life. I used to hide from these, to run, to ignore, try to solve the problems that caused the fear in my mind to be triggered.

If I was low on money I would pray for more, or I would find a way to earn more. If a relationship went bad, I ran. There! No more relationship problem. If I were sick, I would pray for this body to be healed. I would learn all about the problem and the possible solutions and then I would go to work on it. I became a very good problem solver. But the problems just kept shifting form and continued to come, because the problems were sourced by the belief in fear and that belief was in my mind. There was no getting away from it.

One of the most helpful understandings I received from the Holy Spirit came from Lesson 325, which explains how we begin with a belief and wind up with an image (a circumstance) in our lives. Once I understood that, I was able to work it backwards, beginning with the story and discovering what it was that I had wanted to experience. Then I could ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that was imprisoning me.

I had started realizing that I am completely responsible for everything in my life, but at the same time, I was still resistant to knowing that. Lesson 325 made it impossible to believe that I was a victim of anything, and it also helped me to see that the effects that were scaring me, the stories in my life that were so upsetting, were only images I had made from the beliefs I was holding. This meant that they were not real and were only as true as the beliefs. I could then ask the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the beliefs that were not true and then I would stop seeing these false effects.

Just that easy, my mind began to shift and I began to realize that fear is not real. If its effects are not real, then it is not real. I am still working with this. We do a really great job of making realistic effects and believing what I see is a hard habit to break. But it is happening. Now, no matter how afraid I am, in a part of my mind I know that the fear is not real, and I continue to ask Holy Spirit to help me see this differently. I am doing what I came here to do, or more clearly stated, I am undoing what I came here it undo.

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