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Study of Text, Chapter 9, VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 11. 4-29-15

VIII. Grandeur versus Grandiosity, P 11
11 Yet if truth is indivisible, your evaluation of yourself must be God’s. You did not establish your value and it needs no defense. Nothing can attack it nor prevail over it. It does not vary. It merely is. Ask the Holy Spirit what it is and He will tell you, but do not be afraid of His answer, because it comes from God. It is an exalted answer because of its Source, but the Source is true and so is its answer. Listen and do not question what you hear, for God does not deceive. He would have you replace the ego’s belief in littleness with His Own exalted Answer to what you are, so that you can cease to question it and know it for what it is.
Journal
I don’t know what to say about this. Jesus wants me to ask the Holy Spirit what I am and to believe His answer rather than my own. I cried as I read this. I cried because I want the answer. I want to know what I am. I cry that I am not the little self that the ego wants me to believe in. In fact, I am something else altogether, something very different. Mostly I cry because I am afraid to ask. What if I don’t hear anything at all?

Jesus told me to ask anyway, and suggested I simply allow the answer to come as it will and when it will. He said to open my heart to the answer and then step away from both question and answer. Step away and trust. I trust that the answer will be exalted because of its Source and that it will be true, because of its Source. I trust that I will receive an answer because it is my true desire to know my Self.

I see the wisdom in stepping aside now that the question has been asked. It is still too easy for me to slip back into the ego thinking mind and that is not going to bring me an answer. It will only interfere with it as the ego adds its own confused thoughts. I know the concept of what I am, but what I want is a true knowing, not just an idea I am willing to embrace, but a knowing that goes all the way to the Heart, to the center of my being. I gladly release the personal self I made so that the Self can take its place. I am willing, and where my will is not strong, I am willing to be willing

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