Together, We Light the Way

Click link to go to:
Previous Article • Next Article
Together We Light the Way Index

Study of the Text, Chapter 9, II. The Answer to Prayer, P 10 1-12-15

II. The Answer to Prayer, P 10
10 If paying is equated with getting, you will set the price low but demand a high return. You will have forgotten, however, that to price is to value, so that your return is in proportion to your judgment of worth. If paying is associated with giving it cannot be perceived as loss, and the reciprocal relationship of giving and receiving will be recognized. The price will then be set high, because of the value of the return. The price for getting is to lose sight of value, making it inevitable that you will not value what you receive. Valuing it little, you will not appreciate it and you will not want it.

This paragraph feels confusing to me and I keep getting up to go do other things. This is the fourth time I have sat down to consider it again. I am asking Jesus to help me understand this and to know how he wants me to use it.

“If paying is equated with getting, you will set the price low but demand a high return.” Here is an example. I want my children to want to be with me, or at least to think of me and love me. That is the high return I want. What am I willing to pay for this? I notice that I want proof of their affection, but I am not willing to give a lot of time toward that. I put a premium on my time and I am jealous of it, sharing it in small bits.

I am willing to give some of my time but I am unwilling to give it fully and without demands of any kind. To be honest, what I want is that they all become interested in what I am interested in so that I can feel better about spending actual time with them. On the other hand, I am not willing to share their lives where they do not intersect with mine.

It seems that I am saying that I am not willing to become interested in what they are interested in so that our time together will be a joy for them. Wow. So I will afford some small measure of respect for their interests and in return they must prove their love by immersing themselves into what matters to me. This is an example of giving to get, where I set a low price but expect a high return. Gosh, do you think they are lining up for this opportunity?

“You will have forgotten, however, that to price is to value, so that your return is in proportion to your judgment of worth.” Because I am willing to give only a little and to respect only somewhat, I have set a low value. Therefore, I will judge my return as being of little value. I can see that this is often what happens.

I was thinking that my daughter hasn’t spent much time with me lately, in person or by phone. I feel sad when that happens and doubt her love and care for me. I was sorting through some papers in preparation for doing my taxes. I found a piece of paper with a message from this daughter in which she expressed her deep and abiding love for me in the most beautiful way.

There was no doubting her sincerity, but because I put a low price and high demand on our relationship, I failed to see what was right there in front of me. I saw her behavior in light of the value of my price and I missed its true value.

“If paying is associated with giving it cannot be perceived as loss, and the reciprocal relationship of giving and receiving will be recognized.” I don’t always give to get. Sometimes, even often I would say, I associate paying with giving. I often give without expectations or limits of any kind.

Generally, I accept my children’s behavior without judging it. They are not interested in spirituality, and specifically not interested in A Course in Miracles. I don’t judge that. I don’t think of them as less than me or lower on some imagined scale. I don’t love them less because we are on different paths. I give them my love and acceptance without regard to what I might get from it. And thus, “The price will then be set high, because of the value of the return.”

“The price for getting is to lose sight of value, making it inevitable that you will not value what you receive. Valuing it little, you will not appreciate it and you will not want it.” There are parts of the relationship with my children that are still tainted with specialness. These are the parts that I give to get such as needing to receive proof of love and respect. And even when I get what I want, I doubt it and fail to appreciate it.

But the love, the real love I feel for my children is steadfast. I require nothing from them and I give as fully and completely as I know how. I receive great joy and satisfaction when I love in this honest and open way. In this kind of giving the value is protected because I preserve the reciprocal nature of giving and receiving.

Jesus, for some reason this paragraph felt difficult to me, and I thank you for helping me read it. I also thank you for helping me see the contrast in the way I view my relationship with my kids, and how different the two experiences are. I truly want to allow the healing of my mind to be complete so that I always feel the expansive nature of real love. This neediness I sometimes feel is not love and feels nothing like love. I gladly ask for and accept correction when I choose to give to get, and when I think I need to get. Please help me as I seek to remember what I am.

© 2015, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.

Tell a friend about this article.

Printable Page

<< Back to main page of Together, We Light the Way

Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution to support this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution with a credit/debit card, click here.
Click here to donate from your PayPal account.
Or send a check to Pathways of Light, 12530 Lions Chase Court, Huntley, IL 60142.