To gain the most from A Course in Miracles Lesson Insights, we recommend
that you read the corresponding lesson in the Workbook of the Second or
Third Edition of A Course in Miracles published by the Foundation for Inner Peace.
“God is the Love in which I forgive.”
In yesterday’s lesson, we practiced moving through the clouds with the Holy Spirit and coming to the Light that we all are. I have the choice to focus on the clouds and stay there, or move through the clouds. When I am willing to move through the clouds, then I am always brought to the Light. In the Light is peace and understanding. The Light holds no grievances. The Light remembers that the clouds are illusions of separation and are not real. Forgiveness does not mean sacrifice or being a doormat, but forgiveness comes from letting go of what is not real, letting go of separation. Forgiveness IS letting go of separation.
In the world of separation, there will always be grievances. There will always be differences, distinctions that are without end. With forgiveness I take every cloud to the Holy Spirit and ask to see it differently. I ask to be brought to the Love that is behind the barrier, the cloud. The Holy Spirit is awesome at dissolving the clouds. It makes things that seem so complicated so simple. Love is the answer. Love is what is real. Simple, uncomplicated Love brings the peace of God. Today I am willing to practice moving through the clouds and find the Love that is always there.
God is the Love in which I forgive. God is the love in which I forgive myself. Myself is the one that I really need to forgive. My response to my ego when it tells me I must do this or I must do that in order to be worthy is God is the Love in which I forgive myself. The Self that’s always been there needs no forgiveness but what I really need to understand is that the ego is nothing and is not me. And therefore I need no forgiveness, because I have never been condemned. Only the ego condemns and is condemned. So God is the Love in which I find forgiveness, in which my heart can begin to open again and again and again to Love and clarity and benevolence and peace and joy.
As I allow today’s idea to sink into my heart, what stands out to me is the importance of defining the motive behind my forgiveness. Am I forgiving out of fear or am I forgiving out of Love? Honestly, true forgiveness can only be in Love.
As I look upon my life, I notice the times I pretended to forgive. I forgave out of obligation, and always with expectations. I forgave someone because I believed it is the only way the relationship could work. I forgave someone because maybe they will love me more, I will be more accepted, or maybe they will change. This expectation was always a sign that the attempt of forgiveness was incomplete.
When I truly step into a space of true forgiveness, then I can forgive without obligation. Accepting this is the same as accepting that my brother cannot truly hurt me. Then I find myself in a space in which I am truly loving my brother.
Forgiveness is allowing the Love to flow. If I am in a situation that is a call for love, then forgiveness isn’t an obligation, it is an opportunity for joy. I can say to myself, “I do not want to limit my life and decide what this situation is for. That’s what got me here in the first place. Now I decide to let the miracles in.” Forgiving my brother means I don’t fear anyone can hurt me. I have the freedom to be whole and I can do so simply by allowing the LOVE to show me what anything is for.
Much of my life I lived with the ‘doormat’ syndrome. If I felt a need to express what I believed to be true, I would hold back because I thought it might not be accepted by others,. This pattern has brought me great discomfort over the years and kept me in situations that weren’t healthy. If Jesus had had this attitude, we wouldn’t have A Course in Miracles. Clearly much of what is written in the book is rejected by much of the world and probably parts of it by most of the students who read it.
If I am unwilling to express what others might disagree with, then I am limiting my willingness to follow Holy Spirit’s lead. This does not mean I go around confronting people and telling them where they are wrong. But if I have a predisposition not to make waves, then I will not be open to Spirit’s guidance that may lead me on a path less traveled.
All this comes out of fear of condemnation. Today’s lesson that tells me that God never condemned me. It also tells me that all condemnation is self condemnation. So this fear of condemnation is fear of my own condemnation. That is why I need to forgive myself. That is why I need to accept that God is the Love in which I forgive. If I have condemned myself, I can’t look to my little self as the means to forgive. But I do have the Means and It is God.
Gratitude fills my heart. Along with it comes great relief. I am not alone. God is with me. It is His Love that helps me let go of my self condemnation. It is His message through His voice that teaches me I am innocent and the world is innocent. There is nothing to fear because condemnation is not real. It is just an ego ploy to make illusions seem immutable, yet that is an oxymoron. God is the Love in which I forgive is another way of saying I am blessed as a Son of God.
The lesson asks us to think of those we need to forgive. They suggest that anyone we do not like would be a suitable subject. I can think of a couple of people who fit that category, but I find the ones I most need to forgive are the people closest to me. It is the sense of betrayal that you can only experience with someone you care about that is the hardest to forgive.
I understand that I cannot be betrayed and I understand that no one has actually done anything to me. I understand that I am projecting all this stuff onto them. But my understanding is still mostly intellectual. The truth is, I still have many special relationships and I expect those people I have designated as special to live up to certain expectations. When they don’t, I feel hurt and betrayed.
Writing this out and looking at it like this I can see what I am doing to myself. I can also see how forgiving them is really all about forgiving myself. I have taken some pretty big steps in this direction: I see pretty clearly what I am doing,I know that I want to do this differently,this is important to me. I look forward to spending today taking another step forward as I accept healing in this area of my life. How wonderfully lucky I am to have the Course!
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