The major difficulty that you find in genuine forgiveness on your part is that you still believe you must forgive the truth, and not illusions.
It is sin’s unreality that makes forgiveness natural and wholly sane, a deep relief to those who offer it; a quiet blessing where it is received. It does not countenance illusions, but collects them lightly, with a little laugh, and gently lays them at the feet of truth. And there they disappear entirely.
Forgiveness is the only thing that stands for truth in the illusions of the world. It sees [illusions’] nothingness, and looks straight through the thousand forms in which they may appear. It looks on lies, but it is not deceived.
The strength of [true] pardon is its honesty, which is so uncorrupted that it sees illusions as illusions, not as truth. It is because of this that it becomes the undeceiver in the face of lies; the great restorer of the simple truth. By its ability to overlook what is not there, [forgiveness] opens up the way to truth, which has been blocked by dreams of guilt. (A Course in Miracles Workbook Lesson 134, W-pI.134.3:1;6:1-7:3;8:1-3. See also ACIM Lesson 134 Insights.)
Every day in the dream we are tempted to believe that what our body’s eyes show us is true and real. This belief makes true forgiveness impossible. While we hang on to this belief, it seems that forgiveness cannot be justified. We believe what we perceive really happened. This belief that must be undone to truly forgive. We must stop deceiving ourselves into believing illusions are real.
We are so identified with our individuality in the world — being separate and alone — that it seems accepting this is an illusion would mean the complete elimination of our identity. In fact it would be the elimination of the false identity sold to us by the ego.
But this elimination would reveal the glory of God’s Creation, His Son, Who shares all the attributes of his Creator. It would restore us from believing we nothing to accepting our true Self, the Son of God. There is no greater gift we can give ourselves than to let the Holy Spirit help us let go of our self-deception and remember that we remain Love, at one with all Love eternally.
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