Miracles News
October-December, 2011
Developing Trust
Everything that you see in the world challenges your trust in turning all your decisions over to Inner Guidance. We have great resistance to trusting and we need to recognize this before we can meet the all-important challenge. Every time we feel emotions that are in the category of “fear” thoughts, we can be certain we have dropped the hand of our Higher Power. There is someone or something that we haven’t forgiven.
The first step must be to recognize that we chose the wrong teacher. Since the passing of my son Kevin nearly nineteen months ago, I have tried to be vigilant in letting go of the fear thoughts. A Course in Miracles has taught me that I am not a victim of the world I see. I am responsible for choosing the Teacher with Whom I see a world that was created by my own thoughts.
Kevin’s years of opiate addiction and subsequent fatal overdose has served as my greatest opportunity for spiritual growth. It seemed like nothing in my life could have been more catastrophic than to witness my son’s descent into drug abuse and death at age 27. Our last seven years together revolved around the highs and lows of recovery and relapse. He left behind his four-month old daughter Olivia, who is such a great blessing to Kevin’s family members who are grieving. But how does this seeming tragedy result in the development of trust in Holy Spirit?
Accepting the premise that there really is no death and no world comes into play here. If, as ACIM teaches, only the Love is real in any situation that we experience in the world, I can experience that Love whenever I choose. I admit it takes vigilant practice but, as the Course teaches, that is what time is for — to accept that only God’s Love is real.
I received a great deal of guidance from my Higher Power — Holy Spirit — during Kevin’s long ordeal. I was gently but consistently advised to “let go” of the need to fix him. Sometimes I listened — often I did not. But I was also assured that I would be able to handle any and all challenges that I would face. I was told, “You will not be left comfortless.”
My experience has been the fulfillment of that promise. I have felt more Love come into my heart since Kevin passed than ever before. Old grievances have been released. They just seem so insignificant compared to the enormous Love we share for Kevin. Feeling more Love in me than ever before allows me to experience Kevin in my heart. I can talk to him and feel his guidance as I do Holy Spirit’s.
My trust in my connection to Spirit comes with an experience of Love despite the grief of losing Kevin in physical form. I am so grateful for this Love and wish to extend it to others. Practicing forgiveness is the tool that I am given to develop this trust while I still think I am this body living in this world.
I am far from perfect in choosing the right Teacher all the time. I feel progress, however, and I am grateful to Kevin that I am being helped to choose God’s perfect plan — and not my own. I am developing trust that only the Love is real.
Rev. Larry Glenz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York.
Note: Receive Rev. Larry Glenz’s audio book, Forgiving Kevin: A Son’s Addiction Becomes a Father’s Greatest Teacher as a free gift with Pathways membership.
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