January-March, 2023
I could sense her angst before she even spoke. “This is such a hard call to make,” my landlady said. “I’m so sorry to tell you, but my son has decided to sell the house.”
What? My mind was reeling. Just ten months earlier, I had moved across the country to Arizona and began renting a lovely townhome in a fifty-five-plus community. Moving out here on my own at age seventy, leaving behind everyone and everything I knew, was a big deal! Having a wonderful landlady and a very affordable rent had made it easier. I settled in quickly and had everything in place in my new home. It was exactly the way I wanted it, and I would often dance around my place in gratitude because I loved it so much.
Getting that call did give me instant clarity about one thing. I didn’t even consider moving back to New England. I knew for sure; Arizona was my home for now. However, it was very unclear whether I would have to move again or not. There was a chance that a future buyer would want the house as a rental property, and I would be able to stay. So, should I look for a new place or not?
To complicate matters, I had just learned that my mom had passed away. Prior to my move to Arizona, I had moved Mom from Massachusetts to an assisted living facility near my brother in Maryland. Now, my already planned, upcoming trip to Massachusetts would include her memorial service and burial which we were trying to organize remotely.
Whether it was shock or denial, I did not instantly begin looking for another place to rent when I got that call in mid-June. I sat around reading novels, doing jigsaw puzzles, and planning my trip to Massachusetts. That and dealing with my mom’s passing was about all I could handle. I did look at one small place the day before I flew home, but I wasn’t very excited about it. I texted a friend saying, “It is definitely not my first choice, but at least I have an affordable backup plan.”
I was so certain I was to remain in my current home that I explored every possibility to make that happen, even seeing if one of my friends wanted to buy it and keep me on as a tenant. But nothing was working out as I planned. And there’s the rub. I was trying to follow my plan. Meanwhile, Holy Spirit was hatching a whole different plan. I couldn’t see it materializing until I reached a point of complete surrender.
For days, I had been throwing my hands in the air and saying, “I don’t know. I just don’t know! Am I supposed to stay? Do I have to go? Will I be able to find a place I can afford in this difficult market? Will I have to sell all my belongings (there were no storage facilities available) and live in a friend’s guest room for a while?” Now, I see that Holy Spirit finally had me exactly where I needed to be to be led — in the I don’t know mind.
Once I stopped scheming and clinging to the old place, and started paying attention to my inner voice, I saw that all roads were leading me back to the rental I had viewed just before my trip. The first time I saw it, it was just a drive-by and I wasn’t particularly impressed. The next time I saw it was “by accident.” I had set up an appointment with a Realtor for viewing but was surprised when my GPS led me to the place that I had crossed off my list. “This isn’t the place I thought we were coming to see,” I told my friend. “Oh well. We’re here. Everything for a reason. Right?”
One bedroom was small, the bathrooms even smaller. The place overflowed with the current tenant’s belongings. The kitchen was mustard yellow with weird hieroglyphic-style artwork on the walls. Ugh. And yet . . . there was something sweet about the wall cut-out between the kitchen and dining area, and I loved the reddish-brown tile floor. Very southwestern. The Realtor, who was buying the place to use as a rental property, was lovely. The current tenant pointed to her and said, “She has wings.”
The next time I saw the place was, again, “by accident.” I went to view another place across the street and noticed that the garage door to the first place was open. Two men were setting up for an estate sale. Hmmm. I could go in and hang out awhile. Get a better feel for the place. One of the men also told me about another rental possibility. Maybe that’s why I’m here, I thought. I will go check it out.
I went back a third time for the estate sale, two friends in tow. Their silence upon seeing inside was editorial enough. But still . . . there was a lovely hutch there that charmed the dining space. There was less clutter, and it was more organized. I was beginning to see the potential. I found myself asking one of the men to check if there was an outlet behind the hutch. “I think my desk would fit perfectly there,” I mused.
Later, I called the Realtor to ask if I could have the right of first refusal. I was honest that I didn’t want to move unless I had to, and that possibility was still unclear. I had booked a moving company for a date as close to my August 30th deadline as possible, hoping I wouldn’t need them at all.
The wonderful part of all this back-and-forth was that, for the most part, I wasn’t anxious. With Holy Spirit’s help, I was able to stay in the uncertainty with an inner calm. Each day, I arose with an open mind and asked for guidance. I kept telling my friends, “I know God’s will for me is perfect happiness. I have to trust the process.” They rode the rollercoaster with me, waiting to see where I would land. I still didn’t know. Would I end up in a place I liked even better than what I had, or was this just an exercise in staying calm and staying put?
Gradually, the signs that I would be moving became even clearer. My current landlady could not find a buyer that wanted a rental property, and I began receiving interesting emails from the other Realtor with wings. “I’m considering putting a Murphy bed and desk in the second bedroom. Would that suit your needs?” Ummm, no. But I couldn’t believe she was asking! I had not made a commitment yet. I answered that I had my own bed and desk and that could I come to see the place again. Along with her reply, the Realtor invited me to meet her at the local hardware store and “pick out paint colors.” She also told me of other improvements she was planning to make.
Seeing the place this time was no accident. I had listened, and Holy Spirit kept leading me back to the same place, time, and time again. When I arrived, I was surprised to see that the hutch I loved was still sitting in the dining room. As I pointed to it, the landlady said, “Yeah! I can’t believe no one bought it, so I did. It comes with the house.” Yippee, I thought as I smiled and signed on the dotted line.
I have been living here for two months now. It is much lighter and brighter than my old place. The smaller bedroom is perfectly cozy. The larger, well-lit bedroom makes a wonderful art studio/guest room. I have a larger patio now with a beautiful mountain view. My neighbors are wonderful, and I am a two-minute walk from a beautifully landscaped park. My new landlady is delightful, and she keeps saying she hopes I will be happy here for a long time. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you for walking me home.
Rev. Paula Richards, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister from Green Valley, AZ. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) Web: SpiritRisingMinistries.com 508-517-9361
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