Miracles News

September-December, 2025

Rising from the Knees: Finding Truth in Heartbreak

by Rev. Maureen L. Yarbrough, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Pain in the illusion (this world) can be all consuming. It can be gut wrenching, bringing-you-to-your-knees kind of suffering that seems to eclipse everything else. It feels as though your very being is under assault, and the world has become a relentless tormentor. However, we know any pain is qualifying as all pain is rooted in fear — the ego.

We’ve all experienced it in different forms: the loss of a loved one, the betrayal of a trusted friend, the shattering of a cherished dream. For me, it was the agonizing separation from my children due to my own struggles with addiction. I remember vividly the despair that drove me to curl into a fetal position (ego’s desire to retreat into the illusion of safety and separation), as if trying to return to a place of safety and wholeness that felt impossibly distant.

In those moments, the pain was so visceral, so absolute, that the idea of finding solace or meaning seemed like a cruel joke. Yet, it is precisely in these darkest of times that A Course in Miracles offers a path, a way to navigate through the seeming impossibility of unbearable pain and find our way back to the unshakable truth of Who we are.

The Course teaches that the root of all suffering lies in the illusion of separation. We believe we are separate from God, separate from each other, and separate from our own true Self. This belief in separation gives rise to the ego, that part of our mind that thrives on fear, guilt, and judgment. The ego tells us we are vulnerable, that we are at the mercy of a world outside our control, and that we are inherently flawed and undeserving.

It is this egoic thought system that generates the intense pain we experience. The Course states that the ego’s belief in separation is the cause of sin, fear, and guilt.

This separation is not a physical reality, but a perceived state of mind, a misperception of our true nature. The world we see, with all its suffering, is merely a reflection of this distorted perception: “The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt.” (T-13.in.2:2)

My own experience of separation from my children was a stark and brutal manifestation of this illusion. The addiction that gripped me created a chasm, a seemingly insurmountable barrier, between us, and a physical one when I had to go to treatment for some time. The pain of that separation was a constant, gnawing ache, a deep wound in my heart and soul. It reinforced the ego’s lie that I was unworthy, unlovable, and irrevocably broken. The fetal position I found myself in was a physical expression of this inner state — a desperate attempt to retreat from a world that felt too painful to bear, a world where I was separated from those I loved most.

It did not help that their father and his family diminished my alcoholism to my children stating that they did not believe I was an alcoholic. Little did they know that I was using our marriage as an escape tactic, though I did not realize that at the time. While in treatment, their grandmother refused to let them speak to me. I felt utterly worthless while I was in the grip of trying to save my own life and return to sanity so that I may be a better person and mom.

A Course in Miracles offers a radical alternative to this egoic perception. It reminds us that our true Identity is not the vulnerable, suffering self that the ego presents. We are, in truth, spiritual beings, extensions of God’s Love, and we remain forever untouched by the illusions of the material world. The Course emphasizes that we are as God created us, and nothing we have done or thought has changed our reality in any way.

Despite the intensity of the pain, despite the seeming reality of our suffering, our true Self remains perfect, whole, and at peace. “I am as God created me. I am His Son forever.” (W-162)

Remembering this truth is the first step in dissolution of the power of pain. It is a shift in perception, a recognition that the pain we experience stems from identifying with the ego’s distorted view of ourselves, rather than with our eternal, unchanging Reality.

The journey through fear/pain/discomfort/illness, according to the Course, is inextricably linked to the practice of forgiveness. Forgiveness, as the Course teaches it, is not about condoning harmful actions or pretending that the pain didn’t happen. Rather, it is about releasing our judgments, both of others and of ourselves, and recognizing that we are all caught in the same illusion of separation. It is about seeing beyond the ego’s interpretations and remembering the shared innocence that lies beneath. “Forgiveness is the key to happiness.” (W-121)

To forgive is to “remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past, and those that were given you.” (T-17.III.1:1)

In the context of my separation from my children, forgiveness was a crucial element in my healing. It involved forgiving myself for the choices that led to that separation, recognizing that those choices stemmed from my own pain and fear. It also involved forgiving, not in the sense of condoning, but in the sense of releasing the judgments I held towards anyone else involved, including any systems or circumstances that seemed to contribute to the situation (we all know it was no one else’s fault!)

This process of forgiveness allowed me to move beyond the cycle of blame and resentment, and to begin to see the situation with greater clarity and compassion. It helped me to understand that everyone involved was acting from their own level of consciousness, their own experience of the illusion of separation. Don’t get me wrong, it is all in the moment as I will always be training in forgiveness!

A Course in Miracles also introduces us to the concept of the Holy Spirit, the Voice of God within us, our Inner Teacher and Guide. The Holy Spirit is the part of our mind that remembers our true Identity and leads us back to the peace of God.
In moments of intense pain, turning to the Holy Spirit is essential. It means surrendering our pain, our confusion, and our ego’s interpretations to a Higher Wisdom. It means asking for a shift in perception, a new way of seeing the situation that transcends the limitations of our own understanding. The Holy Spirit is the answer to every problem that will ever confront us.

Surrendering to the Holy Spirit is not a passive act; it is an active choice to release our grip on the pain and to open ourselves to the possibility of a miracle — a shift in perception that brings us closer to truth and peace.

The journey back to wholeness, the journey through and beyond pain, is not a linear progression. There will be moments of doubt, moments of despair, and moments when the pain seems as overwhelming as ever. But A Course in Miracles assures us that we are not alone. We have a Guide within us, the Holy Spirit, who is always there to lead us back to our true Self. The path involves constant learning, constant forgiveness, and a constant willingness to turn away from the ego’s illusions and towards the truth of our being.

Even in the face of seemingly unbearable pain, even when brought to our knees by the weight of suffering, there is a way through. A Course in Miracles offers a map, a set of principles, and a profound truth: We are not the pain we experience, our true Self remains untouched and whole, and through forgiveness and a willingness to surrender to a Higher Wisdom, we can find our way back to the peace that is our birthright.

The journey is not always easy, but the destination‚ the remembrance of our true, unshakable Self, is worth more than any pain the world can offer.

Maureen L. Yarbrough, OMC, is a Pathways of Light minister living in Rochester, NY. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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