Miracles News

May-August, 2026

The Empty Chair: Why My “Knowing” Almost Killed Me

by Rev. Maureen Yarbrough, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

A Lesson on the Arrogance of Inferiority

In any classroom, there is a student who fights. Sometimes they fight with loud arguments and intellectual posturing. Other times, they fight with a wall of silent, “perfect” competence.

I was the latter. I was the student who “fought” the Teacher by pretending I had already graduated. I didn’t realize that in the logic of the ego, “knowing” is the ultimate defense against healing.

The Mask of the Invincible

I walked into every room with a calculation already running: I assumed everyone else was smarter than me. To survive that perceived inferiority, I built a fortress of “Super-Confident Manager” and “Efficient Worker.” I was a world-class People Pleaser who always had the right answer, the right spreadsheet, and the right smile.

I was so busy managing everyone’s perception of me that I had no room left to be taught. “Resign now as your own teacher.” (T-12.V.8:3) When you are your own teacher, you are a prisoner of what you already believe. I was “teaching” myself that my worth was tied to my performance. To keep that exhausting lie alive, I drank. Alcohol was the chemical glue that held my mask in place, numbing the terror that if I ever stopped “managing”, I would be revealed as nothing.

The Arrogance of “Less-Than”

We often think of arrogance as thinking we are better than others. But A Course in Miracles suggests that deciding you are less than others is just as arrogant. It is the ego’s way of staying separate. By deciding I was inferior, I was telling the Universe: “I know more about my worthlessness than You do about my Light.”

“The arrogant must cling to words, afraid to go beyond them to experience which might affront their stance.” (W-186.5:5)

My “stance” was my efficiency. I used my “Super Manager” skills to keep the truth at a distance. If I was busy solving everyone else’s problems, I didn’t have to look at my own emptiness. I was a “Fighting Student” who was starving for the Truth but looked too “full” for anyone to feed me.

The Collapse into Freedom

I almost died because my mask became too heavy to carry. The miracle didn’t happen when I finally got “smart enough” or “efficient enough.” It happened when I ran out of breath.

Sobriety was the beginning of my “un-learning.” It was the moment I realized that in the eyes of God, “smart” and “stupid” don’t exist. There is only willingness.

“Your part is only to offer Him a little willingness to let Him remove all fear and hatred, and to be forgiven.” (T-18.V.2:5)

The Law of the Empty Chair

Today, I practice the “Empty Chair.” I no longer have to be the Expert. In a miraculous curriculum, the roles of teacher = Student.

The “Empty Chair” is a mental space where I step back and let a Higher Power lead. It is the “Beautiful Freedom” of not having to be right. When I stop fighting the lesson, I realize the Teacher was never my rival. The Teacher was the Love I was trying to earn through my “efficiency” all along.

• The Old Way: “I must know everything, so they don’t see I’m nothing.”

• The New Way: “I know nothing, so I can receive Everything.”

To the Student Who Is Still Fighting

If you find yourself correcting your teachers, hiding behind your “expertise,” or numbing the fear that you aren’t enough: Stop. Your resistance is not protecting; it is isolating your.

You don’t need a mask to be worthy of a miracle. You don’t need to be “smarter” than the person next to you. You just need to leave the chair empty so Grace can finally sit down.

“The curriculum is highly individualized, and all aspects are under the Holy Spirit’s particular care and guidance.” (M-29.2:6)

You don’t have to manage the curriculum. You don’t have to manage the Teacher. You only have to show up.

Maureen L. Yarbrough, OMC, is a Pathways of Light minister living in Rochester, NY. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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