May-August, 2025
When I first picked up A Course in Miracles, I did not know it was a book about learning to be honest with myself. I thought I was a “good” person and was unaware I had chosen to deceive mySelf. In fact, I did not know that I did not know my Self.
I was clueless that any pain I had experienced was a symbol of the fear and guilt thoughts I was not able to acknowledge in the Mind. The idea that people who hurt me or circumstances that were “awful” did not exist was insulting to my sensibilities. To accept that I could not be a victim anytime was preposterous. The only thing I did know was I wanted the suffering to stop, and I was willing to consider new ideas that brought relief.
I came to learn that I looked on this “dreamlife” with sadness because of the sadness within my mind. I was convinced outside events and people were the cause of my suffering. When Jesus talks about the mind, he is not referring to the human brain, but the Spirit, our real Essence. What I saw in the past and see now is a projection of what I made real within my mind.
A central teaching of A Course in Miracles, is that there is no world. For years I read that and skipped over the words as I saw myself as a body in this world and at the mercy of circumstances beyond my control. I came to learn that the opposite is true. I have never been the mythical Joyce in the dream story, and I am very powerful and holy.
I started understanding things as I was willing to let go of false ideas of what I believed. I put up resistance because the ego was opposed to the new ideas. For example, I read, “When you finally learn that thoughts of attack and of being attacked are not different, you will be ready to let the cause go.” (W-23.7:5)
I discovered all kinds of attack involve projecting guilt. The most damaging and hardest to let go of is Self-attack! This is viewing myself as a victim. The acceptance of this idea took years. Chapter 28.V.5:6-7 was life changing as I read:
“For eyes and ears are senses without sense, and what they see and hear they but report. It is not they that hear and see, but you, who put together every jagged piece, each senseless scrap and shred of evidence, and make a witness to the world you want.”
Could I really be so sick that I want a world where I see evidence of guilt and fear? Yes, they are in my projections. The Course tells us our body does not exist, the body is simply “reporting” what the mind believes. The “you” is not a body but the observer or the one watching the story of what is called life.
Although human eyes cannot see clearly, Light and Love are always present. I am learning that every encounter is a holy one. All day long there are chances to see the Light and Love in those I meet. Many times, I do not practice this but that does not make it untrue.
I am learning to live in the present. To let go and not resist how life unfolds. When fear or anxiety come up, I attempt to relax back into being the observer or the noticer, the one merely looking. I tell myself I am not the emotions or thoughts the mythical Joyce is experiencing. It is becoming a habit to watch the story of Joyce unfold, knowing the real Me is not the character I projected.
It is most helpful to see myself as a student. Earth is the chosen classroom and what I call life is the test. The lessons presented are my very reason for being in the dream. I am here to learn.
This changes how I see the problem in the moment. I am learning to stop resisting what appears in my daily life because the people and problems are my lessons for the day. They are there because I need them and even choose them.
Recently I became offended when another ACIM student made a political remark during ACIM class. I thought the remark was not true and especially should not have been voiced during ACIM class. It took me a couple of days to forgive. I heard the Holy Spirt earlier tell me this was a test, but I resisted. Of course I was unhappy. Forgiveness began as I shifted how I saw her “sin”. Holy Spirit reminded me that all I had done was make a projection from a belief about myself. If I did not believe in guilt and sin, I could not have projected them onto her.
“As you prepare to make a choice that will result in different outcomes, there is first one thing that must be overlearned. It must become a habit of response so typical of everything you do that it becomes your first response to all temptation, and to every situation that occurs. Learn this, and learn it well, for it is here delay of happiness is shortened by a span of time you cannot realize. You never hate your brother for his sins, but only for your own. Whatever form his sins appear to take, it but obscures the fact that you believe them to be yours, and therefore meriting a “just” attack.” (T-31.III.1:2-6)
Self-righteousness and unforgiveness never bring peace. In the test about the political remark, I realized it was a problem in my mind and nothing to do with her. School was in session and the only way to pass the test was to focus on the error in me. I want to learn to be a happy learner. This is impossible when I am resisting what is on the test!
“And what are all illusions except false ideas about myself?” (W-58.3:4)
In summary, instead of struggling, I am learning to surrender more. I practice nonresistance of whatever is happening.
When I recognize the ego’s voice, I choose to do the opposite. This is not easy, but the ego voice never leads me where I want to go. Life rarely unfolds like I want it to. I am not in control of the bigger picture. I admit I do not know what anything is for. My job is not to let the ego run the show. Lastly, I am decreasing daydreaming about how life is going to be in the future. The focus is on being the observer and experiencing peace now. It is literally a full-time job.
Rev. Joyce Peebles, OMC is a Pathways of Light minister. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
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