I do not perceive my own best interests.
I absolutely believe this lesson. Sometimes, I will have a wish for something pass through my mind, and I let it. That is, I let it pass right on through without my attention. That was not always true, of course. I learned that I had no idea what was in my best interests. I might never have seen that this was true if Jesus had not pointed it out and guided me to recognize it in myself.
I used to fantasize about what I would do if I won the lottery. At first it was fun and interesting fantasy. But if I stayed with it very long at all, the fantasy would move into the problems associated with winning. That alone should have shown me that I don’t know my own best interests.
I’m glad I didn’t win all that money because, not having enough, I discovered something more valuable than having more. As it turns out, a wonderful outcome that I had not fantasized about occurred for me. I came to understand that abundance isn’t having millions of dollars. It is knowing that what you need will always be provided when you need it. I know this is true because it is how I live now.
Here is another one. When I was working, I very much wanted to retire and do my ministry full-time. I could not imagine how that would not be in my best interest. What I discovered is that the extra years I worked were the most productive. They provided me with so many forgiveness opportunities I would never have had if I had retired early.
Those opportunities are what led to the healing of my mind and made me a better teacher of God. After all, you cannot share with others what you don’t have. I am truly happy that I always left that decision up to the Holy Spirit, Who knew what was actually needed.
The only temptation to decide for myself that has occurred was the recent election. I thought I knew who should be elected. But even as I thought about it, I realized that I don’t really know what is in my best interests. The outcomes I was looking for were varied and ultimately ridiculous.
Nothing in the world is going to save me. I must do that myself, and I must do it by changing my mind, not by electing a savior. I am so grateful to Jesus for his instructions and grateful to myself for practicing the lessons he gives me. If I had not had and used the Course, my life would be very different now, and not in a good way.
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