My contemplation of Lesson 44
God is the light in which I see.
When people are stumbling in the dark, as many are now, we lightworkers have a job to do. This is our opportunity to shine our light and help our brothers find their way to their own light. I want very much to do that, but I must first be sure my light is shining brightly. It cannot do that if my mind is dark with unloving thoughts. So I am vigilant for judgments, for fear thoughts, guilt thoughts, for anger or hatred. I look fearlessly at all I find, and if I find this darkness in my mind, I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perceptions and to place my faith where it belongs.
If I see darkness in someone else, I recognize that this darkness is in me, too, since our minds are connected. So, I heal it there. This helps both of us simultaneously. All darkness is within, as all light is within. There is nothing outside our mind. The darkness is an illusion and thus can be undone. All light is creation and simply exists even when obscured by dark thoughts. When I forgive those thoughts, the light is there, and so I can see.
Our practice today is designed to help us learn to reach the light. Jesus knows this is simple and natural, but if the mind is not trained, it feels hard. He tells us that we must accomplish this training if we want to see, and I do want to see. I want that more than anything. So I jumped right in this morning, and I will do so during the day as well. In all the years I have been studying the Course, I have never been as determined as I am now.
If you notice resistance, Jesus explains what it is about.
⁴While you practice in this way, you leave behind everything that you now believe, and all the thoughts that you have made up. ⁵Properly speaking, this is the release from hell. ⁶Yet perceived through the ego’s eyes, it is loss of identity and a descent into hell.
Resistance can be obvious. We might feel fear or anger at the apparent loss of control. Or maybe the resistance is more subtle, showing up as not enough time, or I just can’t slow my mind down. That was always my favorite, and it seemed so clearly a fact that I didn’t recognize it as resistance. Or, to be more accurate, I was able to hide behind it and tell myself that I was being honest. No more of that, though. I am no longer willing to sit in the dark, wishing something would save me from my decisions. Nor am I so confused about who I am that losing the ego is confused with losing myself. I am among the Sons of God, and I will let my light shine now.
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