My contemplation of Lesson 47
God is the strength in which I trust.
In this lesson, we are reminded that we cannot trust in the strength of the ego, the separate self. We have no way of knowing how to live life moment to moment in a way that is loving and helpful to ourselves and each other. We have no control over where life takes us. It is a joke we play on ourselves when we make plans on our own, that is, with our ego mind. Often it is not a funny joke from where we think we are.
What is probably not apparent to us before the Course is that while we are like lost children in the woods, we have within us a power and a strength that we can access. The Course calls this our Holy Spirit. Even as a Course student, I was the recalcitrant child who wanted to do it on her own. My life often reflected that decision to my detriment. But that’s OK. It is how I learned. The contrast of using the ego mind to make decisions as compared to calling on the Holy Spirit to decide for me taught me to choose the right mind more often.
I will still choose the split mind at times, but now I see the error quickly and ask for correction just as quickly. Seldom do I stay in the split mind long enough to make changing the mind I use seem difficult. However, if I make that mistake, the solution is the same. I ask the Holy Spirit to correct my perception of the situation, and with a sigh of relief, I let my mind be healed. It wasn’t always so easy, but consistent practice shifted this for me. So now if I get caught up in a story, it is so uncomfortable that I gladly do what it takes to return to peace. As Jesus has told us, he teaches through contrast.
When I first began this study, it felt like I was being asked to give something up when I let go of trying to navigate the illusion on my own. I had a real problem with control. I didn’t want to give it up. Like I ever had control to begin with. Life taught me differently. I began to realize that I was not being asked to sacrifice the right to control my life since I was coming to realize that I didn’t have any control.
By learning to trust the strength of God in me, I have come much closer to knowing my true Self. God gave all of Himself to me in my creation, so the strength of God is my strength, too. I am simply deciding to be my true Self rather than identifying with the separate self I made to have this insane experience. I do this by calling on that strength and letting it teach me who I am.
My mission here is to let the experience teach me that I can simply have the experience or I can use it to undo the misguided experiment in separation. Eventually, all the Sons of God will succeed in finding their way Home. Today we have an excellent practice to not only make this life happier and easier, but also to return us to our Home sooner.
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