My contemplation of Lesson 48
There is nothing to fear.
You may not actually believe this. Probably you hope it is true. I know when I began the lessons, I was conflicted about Lesson 48. Sure, I wanted it to be true, but I also felt cheated. There was nothing for me to do. I was big into doing back then. I thought that I was in charge of my awakening, and I could make it happen if I did enough things right. Yes, there are things for us to do. Ideas to take in, beliefs to let go. But that is not what wakes us up.
This work helps to loosen the hold we have on our ego persona. It helps us realize that we are not trapped in hell, that there is a way out. It is like a farmer tilling the soil, removing rocks and other obstacles to growing a healthy crop. He then fertilizes the soil and finally plants the seeds. But then, it is left to the sun and rain to do the rest.
This is what I do with these lessons. I am preparing my mind for the change that is occurring. I am removing obstacles (my wrong-minded thoughts). And I am planting the seeds. The seed this morning is the truth that there is nothing to fear. I have moved past doubt in what Jesus tells me. While the Myron character still feels surges of fear at times, I know there is nothing to fear. There is no world, and nothing is happening.
What could there be to fear? I am among the Son’s of God. I have no body that could get sick and die. I am not trapped in a world gone mad from separation thoughts. I am spirit and only spirit. I am aware of an impossible experience because I want it. When I am done with the experience, it will seem in the story that Myron dies, but all that is happening is that I have removed my awareness from the idea of Myron.
Sometimes I think of this life as a game I am playing. There are many levels to this game. At the beginning level, the goal is to set up the situations that will help me attain the higher levels. Some of those were things that seemed to make me a victim and unfairly treated, because letting those beliefs go is a goal at the higher level. At the next level, I am also gaining tools that will help me achieve the final goal.
One of the obstacles was my first divorce, which got me kicked out of the Catholic church. And the tool I eventually gained as I forgave was A Course in Miracles. It was the map and instructions for winning the game. It also showed me the prize for winning. I would discover that it was only a game. I exist apart from the game. I am not really the avatar in the game, but the player of the game.
Since I now knew that the fear I often felt was not real and I was always safe, I discovered that there was a way to win the game. It is called awakening in the dream, playing for fun without fear of losing, and helping others win the game. Everything looks the same and my avatar is still sometimes caught up in the game, but within, I know that fundamentally everything is fine. Things may still look scary in the game, but it is just a game. Nothing is happening, and I can relax knowing there is nothing to fear.
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