I see only the past.
I do understand this lesson and accept its importance because this is not my first time through these lessons. But I am doing them as directed, so I obediently went through the ritual of noticing how I see only the past in everything. The ego ignored my certainty that I understood all this and tried to hijack the practice. I looked at my ruler and had to laugh as I remembered the clerk at the store looking at me like I was weird. She couldn’t imagine what I needed a ruler for. I told her it was to draw straight lines on paper, and she still looked flummoxed.
But then I looked at a picture of my son, worried about him, and looked at my favorite coffee cup, hoping it would never break. And on it went as the ego tried to drag me into sad or frightening stories. But it didn’t work because it was just proving the point that nothing I see means anything and that I have given it all the meaning it has for me.
Clearly, I don’t understand anything, and I am never upset for the reason I think. And most clearly, I am upset because I see something that is not there. I saw disaster lurking behind each object of my attention, where clearly there was nothing happening. How did I know that I had something to fear, except that fearful things seemed to happen in the past?
I am glad that I am not required to do anything about this today. I only need to see how it works in my mind, and that I do see.
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