God is the strength in which I trust.
I have spent so much of my life trying to rely on what I think I can manage, arrange, or figure out. No wonder fear seemed reasonable. When I believe the burden is mine, the future feels uncertain, and my resources feel small. Today I am invited to a different foundation. There is a Strength in me that does not waver, does not overlook anything, and never fails. I can lean into that instead of into my own plans, and discover what real safety feels like.
Last night I went to sleep listening to From the Christ Mind, Book II. I woke up at some point to hear him talking about letting go of fear. I felt uncomfortable thinking about fear, but I knew I wanted to do this once and for all. Then I slipped back into sleep. So today’s lesson is perfect. Of course, I have fear if I am depending on my ego mind to make decisions for me. However, I don’t need to do that. As it tells me in the Lesson:
⁴There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. ⁵There is a place in you where nothing is impossible. ⁶There is a place in you where the strength of God abides.
This morning, when I went into meditation with this lesson, only two fearful ideas occurred to me. One of them was a minor issue that was more regret than fear, but my mind kept going back to it. I finally saw that the fear was not in what was done, but in my neatly avoiding asking the Holy Spirit to decide for me. I know I was doing that, but I didn’t let myself think about it at the time. I don’t need to be afraid of myself for having done this. Seeing it is already the correction. It doesn’t mean that I will go back to making my decisions with the ego. I forgave the slip and let that fear go. Nothing real had happened. Now that I have seen what happened, I will be vigilant for that going forward.
The second fear was the same as yesterday. I have been afraid for my friend who is doing something that he might seriously regret. What I notice is that I keep focusing on possible outcomes that feel scary to me. I am deliberately scaring myself. This is what happens when I trust my own strength. I have no idea what will actually happen, and I have no way of knowing what, if anything, I should say to my friend.
This is a situation I want to place in the Holy Spirit’s hands. I want to do that in every case—why wouldn’t I? As we are told in Chapter 14:
³Why would you struggle so frantically to anticipate all you cannot know, when all knowledge lies behind every decision the Holy Spirit makes for you? (ACIM, T-14.III.16:3)
This passage goes on to say:
⁴Learn of His wisdom and His Love, and teach His answer to everyone who struggles in the dark. ⁵For you decide for them and for yourself. (ACIM, T-14.III.16:4-5)
So, not only will I be guided to the best decision for myself, but I will be helping my friend.
I went into the meditation with my feelings all over the place, but I did reach that moment when I felt myself choose the strength of God, and my mind calmed down. It was a relief to feel peace flow through me. Writing about this cemented that feeling. I don’t know why writing it out helps so much, but it does. I suppose this is the way I talk it out with Jesus. In the clarification of terms, we are told this about Jesus:
⁷Yet he would help you yet a little more if you will share your pains and joys with him, and leave them both to find the peace of God. (ACIM, C-5.6:7)
I feel happy, peaceful, even joyful right now, and I will continue to feel this if I remember that in any disturbance, I am not alone. I can give my trust to the strength of God that abides in me. And that strength is always enough.
The more I trust that Strength, the more peaceful I become.
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