Day 79
7 Do not forget that sacrifice is total. There are no half sacrifices. You cannot give up Heaven partially. You cannot be a little bit in hell. The Word of God has no exceptions. It is this that makes it holy and beyond the world. It is its holiness that points to God. It is its holiness that makes you safe. It is denied if you attack any brother for anything. For it is here the split with God occurs. A split that is impossible. A split that cannot happen. Yet a split in which you surely will believe, because you have set up a situation that is impossible. And in this situation the impossible can seem to happen. It seems to happen at the “sacrifice” of truth.
I have a forgiveness lesson that I have tried to avoid. Because I do not want to forgive this man I have avoided any situation that puts me in proximity with him. I have told myself that I can forgive him some other time, that since I don’t have a lot to do with him it doesn’t matter if I put off forgiveness. I have told myself that it is just this one person, and that’s nothing compared to all the people I have forgiven. I have been kidding myself, obviously, since Jesus is telling us that sacrifice is total and that the impossible split happens when I attack anyone.
Why would I ever separate myself from God? Well, I’m doing it right now. The split didn’t just happen one time, it happens again and again and again. I keep the split in place every time I attack. My attack against this man is that I see him as guilty. His behavior seems to prove my judgment against him. I look at his behavior and I want him to be guilty, then I don’t want to be anywhere around him. I have split him off from the Sonship and decided that he is the one who really is guilty and not deserving of forgiveness. Now the Sonship is no longer whole, and so the truth is not true.
Oh jeez, Holy Spirit, I cannot keep this grievance and be at peace. Even though I see that this grievance is an attack on God, that it is keeping me in hell, that it is completely opposed to my one purpose, I hate the thought of giving it up. I need help.
Holy Spirit: You do want to give up this grievance, dear one. That is why you have asked me for help. You also want to keep the grievance. That is the nature of the split mind. This conflict in your mind is exhausting. Rest in me awhile and let your mind be still. (I did this and when I was comforted and at peace I heard more)
When your desire to return to your purpose is complete, the grievance will be gone. You know I cannot pluck it from your mind and save you from your self. You must give it to me because you do not want it anymore. Your decision to forgive keeps getting derailed as you return your attention to the ego story you created to justify your anger and keep it in place. There is only one thing true about this man and this situation; the Son of God is innocent. As your mind wanders to the story again, return it to the truth.
Do not become confused and distracted by the story. This is not about this man’s behavior. This story is just a symbol of the guilt you imagine to be in your mind. It is just another attempt to project it outward. It is your attempt to distract God from your guilt by showing him the guilt in someone else. You don’t want to give up the grievance because it seems to be your salvation.
There is no guilt, Myron, but you make yourself feel guilty through your attempt to displace the imagined guilt. Your efforts to project the guilt actually make you feel guiltier and the need to hide your “sin” from yourself makes it impossible to forgive it. The story is just a device. The man is just a place to put the guilt you believe in so that you can pretend you don’t believe the guilt is yours. So forget the story.
Bring your mind back to the truth. The Son of God is innocent. Let your mind linger here. Let the truth fill you and bless you. Each time you feel the grievance try to reestablish itself in your mind, remember that the story of this man is not the truth. He is innocent. You are innocent. Put your trust in God rather than the ego attempt to protect you from your guilt.
Me: Holy Spirit, I keep returning to the story and when I do I can’t see innocence and I forget that the story has the purpose of providing me with a way to defend against God. The story, when believed, becomes very important to me. It seems wrong to discount the story, and my mind becomes confused again. But already it is so much easier to shift my attention back to the truth.
I thank you for helping me to see what it is actually happening. I will use every return to attack as an opportunity to remember the truth. I trust that my mind will be healed because I trust You.
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