Day 82
2 Until forgiveness is complete, the world does have a purpose. It becomes the home in which forgiveness is born, and where it grows and becomes stronger and more all-embracing. Here is it nourished, for here it is needed. A gentle savior, born where sin was made and guilt seemed real. Here is His home, for here there is need of Him indeed. He brings the ending of the world with Him. It is His Call God’s teachers answer, turning to Him in silence to receive His Word. The world will end when all things in it have been rightly judged by His judgment. The world will end with the benediction of holiness upon it. When not one thought of sin remains, the world is over. It will not be destroyed nor attacked nor even touched. It will merely cease to seem to be.
I love the way this paragraph begins.
Until forgiveness is complete, the world does have a purpose. It becomes the home in which forgiveness is born, and where it grows and becomes stronger and more all-embracing.
For a long time I have laughed at the preachers who warn that everyone is going to hell. I wanted to ask them where they thought they were. “This is hell, guys.” I felt this way (and sometimes still do) because I believe my thoughts that are constantly separating and condemning. I saw the world as hell because that is what my mind projected.
Now that I have begun to forgive, the world is beginning to seem like a different place. Instead of being the receptacle for my garbage thoughts, it is becoming the home of forgiveness, the place where I nourish forgiveness through my growing commitment and willingness. The world transforms through a changed purpose.
Holding this purpose in my mind is easier as I embrace this new vision of the world. I am motivated to a greater awareness of the need to forgive, and a stronger desire to see differently. I see the world as a vast garden that has been overrun with the weeds of guilt, and fear. I have been pulling them, but only haphazardly and with some reluctance. It has been a discouraging job because I saw no end to it.
But I stuck with it and now I am beginning to see what the weeds were hiding. I am beginning to see the flowers bloom. With the weeds gone, the light can reach them, and my continued forgiveness feeds them and they multiply and grow stronger and more vigorous. The fruit of my work encourages me and I feel less of a grim determination, and more of a happy anticipation. It is still work, but it is cheerful work.
Something I’ve noticed is that late in the day I sometimes feel discouraged and this is when I tend to judge myself and others. In the past I thought this was because I was tired. Now I see that it is because I am tired of pretending. The ego mind doesn’t really want to give up its judgments and will sometimes hide them, deny them, stuff them down. By the end of the day I’m tired of the effort and they rise to the surface.
I used to tell myself that I was too tired to deal with it and would distract with a book or something. Now with more light in my mind, I have seen this denial for what it is and have stopped pretending. I can look at my thoughts without judgment and allow them to be transformed at night just as easily as I can in the day. I see that it is not forgiveness that wears me out, but the failure to forgive that tires me. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
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