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Study of the Text 9-6-13

VII. Creation and Communication Paragraph 2
9-6-13
2 Everything the ego perceives is a separate whole, without the relationships that imply being. The ego is thus against communication, except insofar as it is utilized to establish separateness rather than to abolish it. The communication system of the ego is based on its own thought system, as is everything else it dictates. Its communication is controlled by its need to protect itself, and it will disrupt communication when it experiences threat. This disruption is a reaction to a specific person or persons. The specificity of the ego’s thinking, then, results in spurious generalization which is really not abstract at all. It merely responds in certain specific ways to everything it perceives as related.

The ego is only interested in protecting itself and that means to keep the idea of separation going. It will attack anything or anyone who threatens this idea. The separation idea includes many ideas such as specialness, guilt, fear, and rage. Thus the ego will protect against spirit when spirit moves away from these ideas. Also, the ego will judge each situation separately as if they are each discreet and have nothing to do with each other. That is part of the belief in separation. And further, in each case the ego establishes the truth according to its specific needs in that moment.

Knowing its goals and its means, it is easy to see that the ego is not interested in communication as a way of joining, but only as it can be used to separate and thus maintain the idea of ego. The moment we choose to communicate as love, the ego idea ceases to exist. So the ego discourages this kind of communication using fear tactics. It tells us that fear is our protection and that all safety lies in separateness. It encourages us to build defenses against others for our own good.

In order for this to work the ego must keep us deeply involved in the story. Take the situation with Syria. The ego says that we need defenses against this country. There are specific reasons and at first glance it could seem very reasonable. The Course says attack is never justified. But ego says it depends on the circumstances. It is easy to see how the ego works. It makes up the rules as it goes along so that its choices are always justified. It makes different rules for different situations and this keeps our minds so mired in the complexities of it that we cannot find our way out as long as we continue to listen to the ego.

What if in every situation we knew that attack, anger, fear and guilt are never justified? No matter what seems to be happening, no matter whose fault it seems to be, no matter what the circumstances seem to suggest, attack, anger, fear and guilt are never justified. If we knew that these reactions are out the door, what would we do? How would we think? What would we communicate if we had no interest in communicating hatred and fear? If we were not busy isolating through defense and attack, would we then join through love and acceptance?

The ego fights with every weapon at its disposal to keep these questions unanswered. It is not interested in union, only in separation. It uses its biggest guns which always involves fear. If we don’t stop them what comes next? What other horrible thing will they do? Will they do it to us? Ego uses righteousness as a defense. What if we hadn’t stepped in when the Nazis were destroying the Jews? What if we had stepped in sooner? Thinking about this the mind can easily move into fear and doubt. We might begin to think that maybe the ego is right in this case. And this is the way the ego keeps separation going.

Egos biggest deterrent is the belief that it fosters that we are these bodies and this story we are living is actually our life. As long as it can keep this idea alive, it has us. This is the sticking point. If I am this body I must defend it. If this is my life then what happens in it is of the greatest concern to me. My purpose is to wake up from the dream of separation, to forgive all I have made to take the place of reality, and to return my mind to its rightful place with God. If I think I am a body and this life is real, that purpose makes no sense and I will throw it out the window the moment the body is threatened.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-5-13

VII. Creation and Communication
9-5-13
1 It is clear that while the content of any particular ego illusion does not matter, its correction is more helpful in a specific context. Ego illusions are quite specific, although the mind is naturally abstract. Part of the mind becomes concrete, however, when it splits. The concrete part believes in the ego, because the ego depends on the concrete. The ego is the part of the mind that believes your existence is defined by separation.

Here is how I understand this. I notice that I am worried about losing a customer. It doesn’t actually matter if I lose this customer because the whole situation, Myron, the customer, the company I work for, the money I hoped to make from this sale, the world this story is taking place in, all of this is an illusion. How could it be important what the outcome is?

However, the situation is useful. The part of my mind that has become concrete, the part of my mind that believes my life is defined by the separation which is made up of specific and separate instances, will learn more readily if I see the correction as specific. When someone presents a new idea, I will often ask for an example, because I will understand it better if I can see how it is used. This is why the situation involving the customer is useful.

I can see in this situation that I still hold onto the idea of lack and loss, and this gives me another opportunity to allow this belief to be corrected. As I look at my fear I see that it stems from the idea that if I lose this customer I will lose money which I feel I need, and certainly in this illusion I do need money. This shows me I believe in both lack (I could lack what I need) and loss (even if I have it I can lose it) and therefore I have every reason to be afraid even when things are going well.

My fear shows me that if I lose this customer I could lose my standing in the eyes of my boss. This could cause me to lose not just the commission from that sale, but lose the confidence my company has in me, which could cost me my job and therefore my entire income. Lack and loss. My fear shows me that losing this customer will affect my self-worth so I evidently believe I am defined by what I do. Lack, loss and the belief that my behavior defines me.

So this specific situation reveals to me the beliefs in my mind that are keeping me tied to the ego self. I am afraid, and because I identify with the ego mind I turn to the ego for protection. The ego says it will protect me through my fear. If I am afraid of losing everything then I will be careful with my customers and try to do everything right.

When I think I should ask that my mind be healed so that I am not living in fear the ego warns that fear is the only thing protecting me from lack and loss. This is the ego trap, but the Holy Spirit is the way out of this trap. All that is required is trust. I trust that I will be healed and that healing is a good thing. I accept the Atonement in this situation (the undoing of the ego in this situation) and allow my mind to be healed. I feel light and free and happy.

The more often I do this, the less likely I am to doubt the outcome and so I am motivated to continue the work until the job is done and the lesson is generalized. Then I won’t need specific instances. Each time the thought of lack and loss appear in the mind, I will have no attachment to it and it will just go back to where it came from.

This is funny when you think about it. The ego mind thinks I am this body and this life is all I have. Actually, it is only a series of specific examples of what it is like to believe in separation. If I believe the ego, that is identify with that concrete part of the mind that believes in separation, I will live this dream as if it is actually life and I will suffer. If I use this dream to recognize the ego beliefs so that I can ask the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done, I will wake up from the illusion and begin to live.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-4-13

VI. The Rewards of God
9-4-13
8 As you come closer to a brother you approach me, and as you withdraw from him I become distant to you. Salvation is a collaborative venture. It cannot be undertaken successfully by those who disengage themselves from the Sonship, because they are disengaging themselves from me. God will come to you only as you will give Him to your brothers. Learn first of them and you will be ready to hear God. That is because the function of love is one.

Once again Jesus is reminding me that the way to God is through my brother. Yesterday I committed to not missing an opportunity to appreciate my brother. I was only partly successful at doing this, but I was successful in noticing when I failed to do so. I was aware that I would get caught up in my own story and when that happened I tended to look through others rather than to really see them.

I noticed that the ego mind judges automatically and if I wasn’t being aware, I simply went along with that. Thinking back on the day, I remember several times when someone at work would say something friendly or help me with something, or smile at me, and in my hurry to finish my work, I didn’t take a second to feel gratitude, and to enjoy these small but perfect expressions of love.

On the other hand, my intention to see past our stories to the oneness that continues to exist even while I ignore it was successful in an overall way. When other people around me expressed frustration I had no trouble being the calm presence. When one person shared their story of sickness with me, I started to give the old “Hmm, sorry to hear that,” and then go back to work, but instead I paused and gave him my attention, really hearing him. I remembered that it was not God’s Will that he suffer and so his condition could not be real. I said something potentially helpful, but more importantly, I extended love and remembered the truth in spite of appearances. 

Today, I choose to make that commitment again. I commit to moving closer to my brother in whatever way presents itself. Maybe I will feel attacked by someone’s words, and choose to open my heart to hear differently. Maybe I will think my brother is wrong, and I will remember to listen, instead, for the truth in his words. Today I will not wrap myself up in my story and use it to insulate myself from others. I will open my mind and my heart to those around me. I will engage the Sonship fully. And today I will remain cognizant that, as I come closer to a brother I will approach Jesus, and as I withdraw from him I will become distant to him. Salvation is a collaborative venture.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-3-13

VI. The Rewards of God, Paragraph 7
9-3-13
7 I will go with you to the Holy One, and through my perception He can bridge the little gap. Your gratitude to your brother is the only gift I want. I will bring it to God for you, knowing that to know your brother is to know God. If you are grateful to your brother, you are grateful to God for what He created. Through your gratitude you come to know your brother, and one moment of real recognition makes everyone your brother because each of them is of your Father. Love does not conquer all things, but it does set all things right. Because you are the Kingdom of God I can lead you back to your own creations. You do not recognize them now, but what has been dissociated is still there.

My realization of my debt to Jesus grows daily. His perception is pure now and so he helps me reach that state. His plan of Atonement is in place and all I need to do is my little part. And as I do so, Jesus will take my gifts to God for me. The only gift that God wants from me is my gratitude to my brother because to know my brother is to know God and therefore to be grateful to my brother is to be grateful to God.

I choose to have my mind healed and thus undo the ego, which frees me from separation. That is the process that first allows me to remember that I am one with my brothers and then to remember that we are one with God. It is very simple and with the Holy Spirit’s help, it is very easy. I don’t even have to do this with each of my brothers. One brother completely recognized makes everyone my brother because they are all part of God. All that we do to awaken revolves around our relationships as we learn to forgive our projections onto our brothers and thus remember our love and gratitude for each other.

Like every step that Jesus has asked me to take, this one is possible to do because it is broken down into easy little steps. I will meet my brother in many forms today and each time I do I will see us as joined in a single purpose, or I will see us as separate individuals with our own special interests. It is my choice. Right now seeing with the ego a separate person is my default position, but that is changing. I may start there, but often I am able to change my mind and ask for Christ’s Vision.

Well, ok, my vision is still a little blurred as I try to see my brother through the filter of my own fears and doubts, but it gets sharper and sharper as I continue to allow my mind to be healed. As I come to understand that the grievances I hold against my brother are only my own projections looking back at me, I let them be healed. My brother comes into brighter focus without my projections masking his beauty.

I begin to forget why I failed to love him and wonder how it is I forgot my gratitude toward him. For a long time, even Jesus was the target of my projections, and I was blinded to his glory and to my gratitude toward him. All of that is coming back now and when I think of my brother, Jesus, I am so filled with gratitude and love that it makes me want to cry.

Right there at the end of the paragraph, Jesus reminds of our creations. When I first saw a reference to my creations in the Course I was naturally intrigued, but could not image what he meant by that. I tried to envision my creations but how could I? I can’t even envision my true self. Slowly, over the years, my curiosity has evolved into longing. I know that if I cannot even recognize my own brother, I will not be able to recognize our creations, but they are still there and Jesus is leading me back to them as I allow the Holy Spirit to heal my mind.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 9-2-13

VI. The Rewards of God, Paragraph 6
9-2-13

6 My trust in you is greater than yours in me at the moment, but it will not always be that way. Your mission is very simple. You are asked to live so as to demonstrate that you are not an ego, and I do not choose God’s channels wrongly. The Holy One shares my trust, and accepts my Atonement decisions because my will is never out of accord with His. I have said before that I am in charge of the Atonement. This is only because I completed my part in it as a man, and can now complete it through others. My chosen channels cannot fail, because I will lend them my strength as long as theirs is wanting.

Here is what I see when I read this. First, Jesus has absolute trust in me to do my part in the Atonement. He trusts me more than I trust myself and, he assures me that I cannot fail because he will lend me his strength. When I read this, I feel like crying from relief. I often don’t share the level of trust that Jesus talks about here, and sometimes I feel inadequate to do what he asks of me even though in the Course he tells me that I can do whatever he asks.

He is also right that I don’t trust him as much as he trusts me. I am tempted to say that is not right, it is just myself I don’t trust. But if that were true, if my lack of trust was directed only at myself, then I would simply rely on Jesus as he asks me to and not worry about it. Since I do still sometimes think I will never accomplish the undoing of the ego as the Course directs, I have to admit that I don’t trust Jesus to strengthen my weakness.

Another thing Jesus seems to be explaining to us in this early part of the Text is his part in the Atonement. He has said that he is one of us, the same and not someone to be worshipped. He is not our God, but our brother. He put the Atonement in place and is in charge of it because he was the first one to awaken from the dream. But having awakened from the dream, he understood that we must all awaken and that his awakening was not complete until ours was complete. So he is continuing his awakening by helping us all reach that state.

Understanding this (as best as I can) helps me to accept that he is not mistaken in choosing me at this time. Everyone gets chosen, but only when they are ready. Right now I am ready. Sometimes that thought swells my heart with gratitude, and sometimes I cry in relief. Other times it scares me and I want to retreat into my little dark corner of the illusion and hide out in the ego for awhile longer.

But Jesus now sees what I cannot see and I am learning to trust him as much as he trusts me, so I keep plodding along, following his directions as best as I can, trusting that he knows what he is talking about. It seems he must because he says that the Holy One accepts his Atonement decisions, not because Jesus is special, but because his mind is in complete accord with His.

I am like a bird sitting on the ground. My vision is very limited. Jesus is like the bird in flight and his vision is unimpeded. He sees the completed work. I, from my position, can see only a little bit and even that bit is fuzzy because of my lack of clarity, but he sees exactly where my part fits in and how it links up with others. He knows precisely what each person is ready for and what they need to do to form a strong chain of Atonement. Because his mind is perfectly clear now, he knows how to accomplish this. This is why I must learn to trust him as much as he trusts me, and why I must learn to trust his assessment of my readiness.

Now for the most important part of this paragraph, the part that gives me some direction and purpose. Jesus says:

“Your mission is very simple. You are asked to live so as to demonstrate that you are not an ego, and I do not choose God’s channels wrongly.”

I am to live so as to demonstrate that I am not an ego. It must be possible for me to do this because Jesus says he does not choose God’s channels wrongly. Yikes! I don’t know whether to be elated to know this or to be terrified. As I think about this I remember that I am already doing this, not perfectly yet, but I am doing what I am directed to do. I am vigilant for the ego thoughts and beliefs and am willing to let my mind be healed when I find them. As I do this I live less like I am an ego and more like I am God’s channel.

I am very grateful for the understanding I have been given as I read this Text with the Holy Spirit. I am fully aware that it is not a complete understanding, and that we cannot truly understand or even put into words what may be revealed to us directly from God. We are experiencing ourselves as something outside God and we are limited by our decision so that we have only words to convey truth. This in itself limits our understanding and our expression of that understanding.

I think that Jesus just gives me stories that help me to understand enough to bring me to the next level. I’m fine with that. I only need enough understanding to keep me on the path, and inspire and motivate me to continue my part in undoing the ego. All that Jesus knows, I know; I just don’t remember what I know. Knowledge has not ceased to exist because I don’t remember it and it only awaits my awakening to reveal itself to me.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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Study of the Text 8-30-13

VI. The Rewards of God
8-30-13
5 How can you teach someone the value of something he has deliberately thrown away? He must have thrown it away because he did not value it. You can only show him how miserable he is without it, and slowly bring it nearer so he can learn how his misery lessens as he approaches it. This teaches him to associate his misery with its absence, and the opposite of misery with its presence. It gradually becomes desirable as he changes his mind about its worth. I am teaching you to associate misery with the ego and joy with the spirit. You have taught yourself the opposite. You are still free to choose, but can you really want the rewards of the ego in the presence of the rewards of God?

When I read that I have taught myself to value what the ego offers, that the ego brings me happiness and that I associate misery with spirit, I couldn’t see it. How could this be true? So I considered some specific instances and looked at them to see if Jesus was right. I thought about something I had said recently that later came to regret. When I thought about my words I felt foolish and wished I could take them back. It wasn’t really a big deal, but I was concerned about how others would see me.

As I thought about this, I realized that I was being foolish and it was causing me to lose my peace. I asked the Holy Spirit to heal my mind of the belief that I need to look good in front of other people, but I noticed that my heart wasn’t in it. As I wondered about this, I realized that I was afraid to give up the belief that I had to make myself look good to others. I guess my thinking went something like this: If I allow my mind to be healed of the belief that it matters what others think about me, then I will say and do things that are inappropriate and that make me look bad to other people.

It is very circular thinking, and typical of the ego. It reminds me of my fear of heights. I had a very scary experience of being up high and when I wanted to ask that my fear be healed I had this same problem. I was afraid not to be afraid of heights, because if I wasn’t afraid, I would wind up right back in that same situation, and the idea of being there scared me. Isn’t the ego crazy in its logic? So in both instances, I was looking to the ego to protect me and I was seeing the ego as making me happy, and spirit, with its healed mind as being a source of potential misery. Wow! Jesus was right.

The only reason I am not totally buying into this circular reasoning is that I have asked in faith for healing I couldn’t imagine, and let go of my defenses long enough to accept it. In so doing, I have learned to trust spirit, and to value what spirit offers. I have learned to distrust ego and to see that what ego offers is not of value to me. I still fall for the ego insanity sometimes, but I don’t cling to it anymore. It is a thought I believe until I notice that I am no longer interested, and then I let it go.

Here is a favorite quote from Chapter 8 of the Text, it says:

Yet you are not asked to dispel your hallucinations alone. You are merely asked to evaluate them in terms of their results to you. If you do not want them on the basis of loss of peace, they will be removed from your mind for you.

Sometimes when I read this I feel such a sense of relief and gratitude that I cry. I am not alone. I am not asked to do what I clearly cannot do. To be free I only need to want freedom. I don’t have to untangle my mind or stop behaving in a certain way. I don’t have to figure out how to want to be healed while I still believe healing will hurt me. I only have to see that my thoughts have cost me my peace of mind, and to know I want peace more than I want the thoughts. They will then be removed for me. A little willingness, a little trust, that is all that is required of me. Thank You, God.

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Study of the Text 8-29-13

VI. The Rewards of God, Paragraph 4
8-29-13
4 The ego and the spirit do not know each other. The separated mind cannot maintain the separation except by dissociating. Having done this, it denies all truly natural impulses, not because the ego is a separate thing, but because you want to believe that you are. The ego is a device for maintaining this belief, but it is still only your decision to use the device that enables it to endure.

I never thought that the ego and the spirit do not know each other but I see that this must be true. The ego is the device we use to convince ourselves that we are not spirit, so of course the two selves cannot meet. As I write this I wonder how I am supposed to get out of this if ego and spirit do not know each other. But then Jesus also said that I am not the ego, that the ego is just something I use, and I can choose not to use the ego device anymore. If I stop using the ego it will disappear.

I am going to think about how this works. First, I am spirit. Then, because I wanted to experience myself as if I were something else, I made a device that would allow this. It would be representative of that other thing, but the only way it could work is if I completely immersed myself in the other and forgot what I am. I would have to dissociate completely from my true self to have the experience of not being spirit. And so here I am.

The ego allows me to feel as if I am separate, and with separation comes all the drama I thought I wanted. I am having the experience I thought I wanted to have, and I will continue to have it as long as I want it. Because the ego is something I made, it is not something I must keep. I can choose to stop using it anytime I want to. As I let myself notice that the ego experience is not making me happy and as I begin to desire something else, the memory of that something is coming back to me.

I never planned to stay in this experience forever and so there is a failsafe built into it. There is the Memory of God, the Holy Spirit, Who will guide me out of the ego when I am ready. He will help me undo the ego when I am through with it. My experience has been that I want to wake up and then I want to stay in the story, then I want to wake up, then I go back to the story. But each time I undo a bit of the ego my memory of spirit gets stronger in my mind. As this happens the belief in ego gets weaker since ego depends on dissociation to exist.

The ego is not a bad thing that I did. It was not a sin and I am not guilty for it. Those feelings are just part of the separation thought. When I choose against the ego, the feelings of guilt and fear will disappear with it. I am having this experience of my own will. I am not being punished even though it sometimes feels like I am. Because this experience is my own choice, I must choose differently if I want to stop having it. The truth will not be forced on me. As I make that choice to remember the truth, I am learning to value the joy and the peace that occurs naturally when I turn from ego to God.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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