Miracles News
April-June, 2004
A Personal Story about Healing
I was introduced to the book “The Disappearance of the Universe” at Pathways of Light. I was fascinated by the radical concepts it presented. In fact I can say, “It blew my mind.” What does it mean the universe is an illusion; the body is not real; the world is a projection of ego’s thoughts, feelings and beliefs? What does it mean that the only reality is the presence of the Holy Spirit, Who is within us to remind us of God’s Love and lead us toward our true home? What does the book mean that our only job is to practice forgiveness and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us to true healing?
In my quest to find out why, I kept getting sick and hit with different diseases, I tried many different approaches, but I kept getting sick. I took herbs, I tried many different alternatives; I practiced meditation, chanting, body work, energy work. I went to different healers and I still kept getting sick.
I thought I understood the mind-body connection. In fact, I taught classes on it for stress management. I told others that if they had frequent bladder infections, they might want to ask themselves, “Who are you pissed with?” I thought I tried everything and was feeling frustrated. Why isn’t anything working? Yes, I would experience relief and I thought healing was taking place but I kept getting sick.
One thing I hadn’t learned until going to Pathways is that healing isn’t about fixing the body; it doesn’t come from external sources; it’s about healing the mind. Daily Meditations for Practicing the Course by Karen Casey states, “Ailing bodies don’t keep us sick; our attitudes and perceptions do.” Since I was learning to ask Holy Spirit to guide me, I asked Holy Spirit to teach me concretely about illusions and reality. Lo and behold, three weeks ago, I was flattened with the flu. It left me so depleted, I couldn’t get up to eat and had to withdraw from my daily activities.
At first I blamed the flu because my son-in-law came to visit and he was sick with a respiratory infection. But if this was true, how come my husband didn’t catch the flu? I got the flu because I couldn’t say no to all the activities I got involved in and I was so busy running around saying yes to everyone except myself. I was a super pleaser, falsely believing that my self-worth was tied to pleasing others. I also believed that my need for love and my fear of being alone in the world would be met by filling up my time with activities that I believed would feed my Spirit and nourish my soul.
It was interesting that as I withdrew from the world, it was as if the world really disap-peared. I received no phone calls asking about my health. I didn’t see anyone and being in the loft, my only view was of the sky. And so, I spent my time communing with Holy Spirit; resting in His Presence. Even though I felt lousy in my body, moment to moment I was bathed in peace and Love; something I never experienced before as I frantically searched for Love in all the wrong places.
The presence of Holy Spirit was so gentle and loving. I was learning that the reason I felt so alone in the world was because I separated myself from my True Essence, the Holy Spirit in me. It was in me all along, patiently waiting for me to reach out. Never have I felt more loved than in these three weeks. Holy Spirit was teaching me what the Course teaches — that the body is simply a vehicle for learning the lessons we need. As I lay there, the ego kept trying to pull me back into fear, worry, self doubt. I used the time to ask for forgiveness and ask for release from the guilt and fear of punishment I believed would happen if I didn’t follow ego.
There is still so much more I have to let go of but I’m learning there is no hurry. Holy Spirit is gentle. He wants me to be gentle with myself and not be driven in my lessons like I have been driven in the rest of my life. I am filled with gratitude to Holy Spirit for answering my prayer and letting me see what is an illusion and what is reality.
The Course says that “the body is used by the ego or Holy Spirit to communicate. I am learning that I have a choice I choose to say yes to Holy Spirit, say yes to Self and ask for the healing that is true healing — a change of mind from fear to Love. I am filled with gratitude to Pathways for giving me opportunities through its courses to continue learning what real healing is about.
Linda Wisnewski is a Pathways of Light student living in Plymouth, Wisconsin.
© Copyright 2004, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.
Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution in support of this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution or become a member online, go to http://www.pathwaysoflight.org/polshop/home.php?cat=254.
Or send a check or money order to Pathways of Light, 6 Oak Court, Ormond Beach, FL 32174-2623 (USD only, please) Thank you for your support.