Miracles News

October - December, 2009

Complete Surrender?

by Rev. Myron Jones

As I was journaling with the Holy Spirit I asked Him about goals. He suggested I write down my goals for today and then we would look together. I wrote that I needed to finish this project. Then I had a list of things that had to be done before my friends arrived. This list included things like getting dressed and cooking lunch. The longer my list became, the more stress I felt. This reminded me that my list was not complete. I added to it. “I want to step back and allow the Holy Spirit to guide the way. I want to remember my purpose.”

As I added these goals to the list I realized that my list was exactly backwards. I changed the order and stepping back and remembering my purpose went to the top. When I did that I realized that I did not need to finish the list of things to do. If I would be willing to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me today, then I would not need a list. Could I set aside what I thought I needed to do? Could I set aside all decision-making and turn to the Holy Spirit in complete trust? Could I surrender the idea that I need to be in charge of my life?

I thought about that for a while. I have said that I want to be lived, but do I really? What would I have to give up? I would not make decisions about what to do and in what order. I would not write any more stories. I would just watch the story already written as it unfolds as Myron’s life. I would have to give up the drama that comes with judgment as I simply observed the story of Myron’s life without deciding what it means. Would I miss that drama? Would I feel deprived if I wasn’t in charge of this life?

I decided to try. I sat at the computer after I wrote the last word and waited for a thought to appear. I thought to get up and take my shower. On the way I thought to put the rice on. I didn’t question the change in plans, or ask myself if that was the right order. I didn’t wonder if I should do something else instead. I just put the rice on and took my shower. While showering I did only that. I didn’t use the time to plan my next move or to decide what I would do when my friends arrived. I just enjoyed the feel of water and soap on my body.

I completed each chore exactly as it came to me to do it. Just as I finished the last thing that needed to be done, the first of my guests knocked on the door. Probably everything would have been done if I had made plans on my own, but by making no plans on my own and following Guidance instead, my morning went smoothly and was completely stress free.

Since then I have fallen back into the habit of trying to be in charge of my life. I notice that it is a lot more stressful. I forget things I need to do. My mind is in conflict nearly all the time as I argue with myself about what to do and when. I see that there are whole blocks of time I am living unconciously. I could not even tell you what I did because my mind was someplace else; in the future or in the past. It was focused everywhere except now. I seem to be missing my life.

It is not hard to allow myself to be lived. It is a little harder to want to do this. However, I am motivated to try again because the first time was so peaceful. I am beginning this day by reminding myself that not I, but Christ through me this day will be done.

Rev. Myron Jones is a Pathways of Light minister living in St. Charles, Louisiana. Read more of her inspiring Healing Journal articles on the Pathways of Light web site. Also to learn more about her new audio book titled, Healing Family Relationships — Applying the Principles of A Course in Miracles, click here.
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