January-March, 2025
Before I started applying A Course in Miracles to my life, I thought that I was right. Right about my opinions, right about my judgments, right in what I thought should or should not happen. I bet you have heard the phrase, “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?” I believed they were the same thing for a very long time. It was almost like my “rightness” proved that I was alright, like I was arguing for my right to exist.
Even the most inconsequential topic was fodder for an argument, a proving I was right and defending myself. Any little time I could say “you’re wrong, I’m right,” I was ready to pounce on it.
What I have recently discovered is that in order to be truly happy, to be in a state of peace, not only do I have to give up being right, or at least proving it, but I also have to give up my rights – the “right” to be offended, the “right” to be angry, the “right” to be judgmental, the “right” to perceive myself as unfairly treated.
“Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated or in need of anything, you but accuse your brother of attack upon God’s Son. You hold a picture of your crucifixion before his eyes, that he may see his sins are writ in Heaven in your blood and death, and go before him, closing off the gate and damning him to hell.” (T-27.I.3:1-2)
That does not sound like a happy place to me and I cannot send my brother there and claim happiness for myself.
All of these “rights” keep me stuck in conflict, in a world where we are different and have to defend ourselves, like there is anything to defend against.
Yes, there are still plenty of opportunities each day for me to exercise my rights of feeling offended, etc. But I know if I choose that, I will not be happy, not in the way God wills for me. I will not be peaceful if I hold on to the belief there is something to be offended by.
Just this morning as I was working on this writing, I asked Holy Spirit to give me a real life example to share with you. Well, within the next hour, I had numerous examples to choose from! From my thoughts that my husband “should” have cleaned out the fridge while I was out of town (and how come I have to do everything?), to the fact that the story my husband told me about how he spent his evening didn’t line up with my version of events. As those thoughts came into my awareness, I had a choice. Do I argue those facts? Do I let them steal my peace? Or do I choose happiness instead?
It is amazing to me, as I have let my mind slow down enough, that I can stand in a moment of deciding what I want –— do I want to defend my “right” or do I want the peace of God? It is not possible to have both. I am happy to say that when I stand in that moment, I choose love and peace more often than not these days.
Sometimes, I react first and then pause and that is okay because I can forgive myself my unawareness and make a new decision in that moment.
I am so grateful to give up my rights in order to be happy!
Rev. Nicole Witt, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Redding, CA. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) https://nicoleelisewitt.substack.com/ Phone: (818) 271-8065(818) 271-8065
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