Miracles News

October-December, 2004

Hijacked!

by Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C.

Rev. Myron Jones I had been so excited for a couple of weeks as I anticipated a wonderful week at Pathways. I was co-facilitating 920: Being a Miracle Worker with Rev. Barbara Kraetsch.

I was so pleased to be working with Barbara and was looking forward to seeing some old friends and making some new ones. It took some doing to get my work schedule arranged so that I could take off some time for this, especially since I was taking off a couple of extra days. I didn’t really need those extra days, but I really wanted them. I love being at Pathways, and always come back renewed and ready to tackle anything.

Besides co-facilitating my first course for Pathways (which was thrilling enough), I would also be recording a DVD. Wow! A minister of God and a star; who would have thought! With all this to look forward to, you can imagine how upset I was when the day before I was scheduled to fly out, I woke up with a sore throat. I could hardly talk. How on earth was I going to fully participate in the coming weekend if this kept up? So, I asked Holy Spirit, “What’s up with this?”

I didn’t stop long enough to listen, though. I had last minute customers to take care of, and lots to do before I left. By the middle of the day, I was feeling pretty sick and had a fever. Now I was paying more attention, but I wasn’t getting much. I mean I was asking what was going on, but I wasn’t really hearing anything. I went to the doctor and got plenty of medicine. I worried a lot. But I was still sick.

I called my mind healing partner, Loretta, and told her what was going on. I asked what she thought I should do. Loretta asked me if I was nervous about the coming weekend and I said that I was a little, but not enough to make me sick. She suggested that I journal and see if I could get an answer that way. My friend Linda, who is good at journaling once told me that three is the magic number. She said that if I am journaling to get an answer I should always write at least three pages. I guess it must take that long to let the ego voice itself so you can get to the good stuff.

I don’t have the kind of patience that it takes to do a lot of journaling, but this obviously called for extreme action, so I sat down in my favorite chair and took up pen. I asked the Holy Spirit why I was sick, and what did He want me to learn from this? This is what I got on the third page (guess you were right, Linda):

The Course says that sickness is a decision. I made a decision to be sick. I began to feel that I had to perform well because people would be expecting it of me. I didn’t tell myself that — at least not out loud — but that is what was going on in the background. And that is what was making me sick. I started off with the right idea. When I was ordained, I told the Holy Spirit that I was ready to do my work. I said that I would show up wherever He needed me and do my best to get out of His way. I would always try to be a useful channel for Him — to say or do what was needed.

That was my intention for this weekend also, but somewhere along the way I got hijacked by the ego. I began to think this was about me. With the ego involved, my joy turned to fear and anxiety. My ego was trying to get me out of this scary situation using the same method that had always worked in the past. I would get sick and not have to participate. Less would be expected of me and then there would be less chance of failure.

“So,” I asked, “What am I supposed to do now? How do I get my life back from the ego?” Knowing what not to do isn’t the same as knowing what to do. Please tell me in a clear way that I can understand what I need to know.” I knew that the answer was there waiting for me to see it.

I thanked the Holy Spirit for these useful insights, and invited Him to come into my mind and show me another way to see this. I confirmed my original intention to be useful in any way He needs me. I gave Him all my fears and uncertainties. I picked up a nearby copy of the Course and opened it at random. I was in Chapter 4 of the Text, Section 1. Paragraph 7 jumped out at me. It said, “Your worth is not established by teaching or learning. Your worth is established by God. As long as you dispute this everything you do will be fearful, particularly any situation that lends itself to the belief in superiority and inferiority.” Well, that was just about perfect for the situation, wasn’t it?

This turned out to be one of those golden opportunities. I learned a lot as I worked my way through this situation. I found that it was not as easy as I thought it would be to lay aside my ego concerns. I sacrificed my peace to my ego fears. But I knew that I was doing what I was supposed to do, so I stayed with it. After it was all over, I could see that all my fears were groundless, and isn’t that always the case? I was also pleased that I continued to seek guidance and did my best to listen.

In the future, it is my intention to divert all ego hijackings right at the beginning before the ego can get a foot in the door, because once in, the ego is harder to dislodge. I can see that if I had stopped immediately on noting my anxiety, and gone straight to the Holy Spirit with my concerns, I could have avoided most of the nervousness I felt, and would have enjoyed my week more.

Rev. Myron Jones is a Pathways of Light minister living in Lake Charles, Louisiana.

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