Miracles News

April-June, 2004

Hitting the Wall

by Rev. Deb Frantz, O.M.C.

Rev. Deb Frantz How many times have we “hit the wall” in our spiritual growth? We have feelings of depression, anxiety, fear, worry, sadness and even physical ailments. Somehow we know that we are close to a major healing, and yet somehow we shy away from it. The healing would bring us peace but somehow we are convinced that it would bring us more pain and agony. It seems easier to run away from further spiritual growth. We use various tactics to get away from our growth. For instance, we make excuses for why we do not practice the Workbook Lessons, or even use the weather as an excuse not to join with others in Course study.

I can hear all of those now because I have used them myself, so that is how I know. I used to be very anal about starting the lessons on January 1st and continuing throughout the 365 days. If I missed a lesson, then I was done for the year. My ego then termed me as a “failure” for that year. I, of course, learned later to just brush my little ego off and pick myself up into the lessons.

And what about joining with others for healing, “Oh well,” you may say to yourself, “I have missed so much already, why bother? I’d be so far behind.” I have a little secret for you. The Course tends to repeat itself over and over until we finally are illuminated. You can jump in at any point, just be open and willing to listen and you will receive what you need at the given time.

“Brother, we heal together as we live together and love together.” (T-11.VIII.11:4)

When we get to the blockage, we attempt to go around it, or under it, or over it. What we really need to do is go through it. Take the Holy Spirit with you and go through it all. Here’s a reminder from my favorite quote:

“I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.” (T-21.II.2)

That is a real hard lesson to learn, that we are responsible for everything that has manifested in our lives. We have somehow put our intention of unloving thoughts out there into the universe and the universe has duly supported the thoughts by bringing to us those seemingly “difficult” people, relationships and situations into our lives. But yet, this simple quote offers us freedom from the prison that we have encased ourselves in. It is a cold prison that we have created, but God’s Love is true freedom. Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling. Experience it to the fullest, all the while knowing that when you are ready you will move beyond to the Light.

I went through this myself months ago. Yes, it seemed painful at the time, yet the Holy Spirit was there with me, holding my hand, surrounding me with His gentle kindness and unconditional Love that I had no choice but to emerge from this and into the Light of God.

Subject matter may come up that you have never even thought of or even had forgotten. How could I be the one that has shackled someone else and including myself? This I did. I realized this recently as a situation from a few years ago was brought into my awareness. A few years ago I had bailed someone out of jail. I had forgotten about this situation but through the healing process I have experienced as of late, I received an answer from the Holy Spirit as to why I bailed this person out of jail in the first place. I did so because I knew that I could create a better prison than the one my municipality could. I could punish more severely and more harshly, and in fact I did. This awakening has brought me peace and forgiveness. I even shared this with the person, and they agreed that indeed I had created a prison for both of us. Incredible, but true. Another obstacle has been removed from my spiritual path.

On the other side of the obstacle is clarity of sight. We judge ourselves so harshly, but in reality there is nothing to judge, only to know and understand Who we are. Our truth is that we are very holy. The other truth to know is that God is always with us. With this clarity of sight, we can see our reactions and actions to what goes on around us. It continues to remove obstacles and allows us to follow our True Purpose.

Rev. Deb Frantz is a Pathways of Light minister living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

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