Miracles News

July-September, 2015

How Does True Healing Occur?

by Rev. Rosemarie Tropf, O.M.C.

Rev. Rosemarie Tropf Is it possible to achieve healing from God when this illness has gone on for so long? This is the question we discussed as a group recently at our monthly call for the Chronically Ill Support Group. It was my turn to answer that question. Here is what I answered:

ACIM Lesson 136 says healing is of the mind, not the body. I can remember as an eight year old faking pain to stay home from Sunday School. It worked until about 30 minutes after I said it. Then I was jumping around on the bed with my sisters and my mum said, “You aren’t sick. Get dressed Missy, off to church with you.” I crumpled onto the bed and tried to insist that I was sick. “Please believe me,” I said. That is making use of the mind to create a sick body.

As a child there were other times I told my parents I was sick or in pain but I wasn’t really sure about that. Years later I realized that saying I was sick or in pain was a reaction to the stress I was feeling. I had no words for the stress or chaos at home, but I knew how to say I don’t feel well. Everybody knew that meant your body felt bad. But it wasn’t true.

I was sad, I was anxious and I was afraid. I felt unloved but when I was sick I got love. That love felt great! My dad would actually sit on the bed and say, “How are you doing?” I used my pain as a cry for love. My mum got angry at me sometimes and accuse me of faking it. Now that created a ton of guilt because I was faking it sometimes but I didn’t know how to stop it. It was my only way of expressing my anxiety. I wished that instead I could say, “Please stop fighting. Please stop yelling. It makes me feel very bad and afraid I will lose my family.” But no one ever dared mention that stuff. We all buried that and said nothing to anyone. I buried mine deep in my body.

When I read lesson 136 as part of ACIM Practitioner course 909: Wellness Through Mind Healing, it also said sickness is a defense against the truth, therefore it cannot be the truth. What is that truth, I wondered? It is the truth we are not the body. The body is neutral. It’s my thoughts that create whatever is happening in the body, not the other way around. I have decided that I am sick or in pain? A couple of years ago I would have raged at anyone who said that to me. I chose this? My response would have been to sputter with indignation.

This lesson also says we forgot we decided on this illness due to guilt. I could identify with that guilt due to my shenanigans as a child. Plus as a young adult I had developed a heavy pattern of doing this over and over.

My anxiety increased as the years went by. I never felt safe and due to the fear of feeling small, alone and abandoned, I talked more and more about feeling pain. Nobody believed me because the doctors said there is nothing wrong me. “You are faking it,” they would say. I dug in and wanted to prove to them I was sick. I just knew I had an exotic disease and one day they would find a name for it.

I still could not state any of my emotions honestly. I didn’t know what feelings were. I was angry? No way. Not me! I pasted a smile on my face. I cared for others all the time. I was loving and happy. My childhood was great! If I had ever been abused, it didn’t bother me. I was tough. “Don’t be a big baby” I would think then the pain would increase. Once in a while, I would erupt in a great heaving, sobbing, ragged breathing type of crying. I could not understand that at all. Where was that coming from?

I was a spiritual student. I was reading all the right books, doing all the right meditations. Feelings about me for me were completely foreign to me. I could feel for others very well, but not for me.

I learned in course 909 that we need to review this type of belief system. I had made decisions along the way and they had stuck. My mind was in charge! Wow. You mean I am creating this? What a relief. I can change me!

You mean I don’t have to wait for an MRI to say I’m okay? I can just decide to be okay? You mean I don’t have to have the doctor verify my tests are okay? I can just decide I am okay?

Well, yes and no. I alone cannot deal with this. I alone am small and weak and afraid. But I can do this with Holy Spirit. I can do this with Jesus as my teacher. God is the healer, not me! The few times I had tried to apply mind over matter or positive affirmations, I didn’t really believe I could do it because I imagined I was doing it all alone. And I was far too guilty to be worthy of healing myself by myself, without one thought about love. How could I heal myself when I lived in self hatred, lacking any sense of joy? I can be healed only with Holy Spirit and Jesus teaching me that God loves me.

Jesus said, “Ask and ye shall receive.” Yes, but only if my beliefs don’t block that help. Beliefs like, “I can’t be helped until the doctor says I’m over it. I can’t be helped if the MRI says there’s something there, can I?”

I can ask but not receive if I believe that I have to be in white knuckled control of my whole life now and in the future. Gritting my teeth, clenching my muscles, I knew I could make myself heal. I can heal but I must, must, must control my vitamins, my exercise, my weight, my thoughts. I must!

How can I receive when my mind is so busy and so blocked?

One more huge block? Because I finally had an exotic name for my pain, I felt really special. This seemed to be my only claim to specialness, so I had to talk about this with everyone all the time. (I saw how tedious that was for them, creating more guilt.) Naming the disease and claiming it for myself, I made the pain more and more solid. Every time I claimed it and imagined it getting worse, the energy of my thoughts solidified the molecules in my body into blockages of energy. My life long pattern made these blockages very solid. My neutral body became exactly what I imagined it to be.

I now know I need to ask Holy Spirit to help me change my perceptions. I also need to ask for help to let go my need for specialness. I know I need to do this over and over, because my mind is stuck in a pattern. It takes repetition to undo thought patterns, but that is the way to a miracle. I am open to spontaneous healing, but I don’t count on it. I follow Holy Spirit’s lead and change my mind daily.

Holy Spirit tells me I am a creative being. I create every moment of my life. What am I creating? Do I create pain and fear or Love? That’s my choice. I can create Love if I practice. That is my purpose now. I changed my purpose from being special and crying for Love through creating my pain to having the purpose of extending Love to others. That changes the solidified energy of pain to the energy of Light and Love. That is a miracle!

If I am extending Love to others and someone complains about their pain, am I going to tell them they decided to create that pain? No, because that is not loving. I will say or do whatever is loving for that person. My mother is 91 years old without any spiritual beliefs. Would I say to her, “You are creating this and just let God heal you?” No! I would make her comfortable. Instead I would rub her feet. I would agree that she doesn’t deserve this. I would tell her she is loved.

As Christine said in the meeting, I can see her as whole. I can see her from my Holy Mind to her Holy Mind. I can ask Holy Spirit to help her know she is innocent… but in silence. I would do this from my heart, not from my mouth.

With Jesus as my teacher, miracles abound in my daily life. My mind is healing and that is the only healing necessary.

Rev. Rosemarie Tropf, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Safety Harbor, Florida. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

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