Miracles News

April-June, 2014

Let the Past Go or Hold On to It?

by Rev. Mary Wongwai, O.M.C.

Rev. Mary Wongwai This movie awards season has brought together two coincidently similar yet contrasting movies. Both are true stories, both have major events happening in the middle of last century, both involve travel between the UK and America, and both feature women and the traumatic life events they have experienced as young people. And yet, even with all these similarities they offer two clear examples of the effects of forgiving the past or not forgiving the past.

In the movie “Saving Mr. Banks” the main character is P. L. Travers the Author of Mary Poppins. Mrs. Travers has an opportunity to work with Walt Disney on making her children’s book into a motion picture. In the telling of her story we are shown flashbacks of her childhood revolving mostly about her father. He was a fun and empowering father and also at times a moody unreliable father. Her father was both a very good father and an inadequate father. In addition, her father died when she was young. One can imagine the deep emotional abandonment she experienced during her formative years.

The movie “Philomena,” her story is no less tragic. She had keep the secret of having had a child when she was a teenager. With help of a reporter, she sets out on the search for this first born child 50 years after his birth. This movie also uses flash backs in the telling of her childhood. We see her enter the convent as a pregnant, naive, very young woman. She has been left at the convent by her only remaining parent, her father. He had not told her about sex and how women get pregnant and now he has dropped her off and disowned her for becoming pregnant. We see how the young mothers at this convent became indentured servants and their children are put up for adoption. One can imagine the feelings of deep emotional abandonment she too has experienced.

Undoubtedly, both of these women have a past that could create a lifetime wound.

In the adult depiction of Mrs. Travers, sadly, she seems to be stuck in an angry state of mind. Mrs. Travers is working at Disney, immersed in what is arguably a lifetime opportunity instead she is resistant and begrudgingly involved. Her behavior is defended and self-righteous and frankly she seems to loath everyone she encounters. She is not able to be at peace. It seems that she has very few moments of joy.

In contrast the adult Philomena does not seem to be carrying resentment about her early life experiences. She is on a difficult search for her long lost child and she remains open to people along the way. We see her enjoying experiences, being thankful for simple pleasures and we see her forgiving. She is embarking on an emotionally difficult journey and she is able to access peace and she is open to joy.

These two examples can clearly show us how we have a choice. We can hold on to our view of being a victim or we can make another choice. We can be angry or we can choose peace. I know that we teach what we most need to learn, so I am talking to myself here too.

In ACIM it says, To be born again is to let the past go, and look without condemnation upon the present. (T-13.VI.3:5) It can seem important to hold onto hurtful memories of the past as if it offers some defense. If it offers any defense at all, it offers a blanket defense that keeps you from experiencing the now with fresh new eyes. Holding on is not a pathway to peace. This quote form ACIM simply says, “let the past go.” I can do that. Instead, I choose peace, I choose love, I choose joy.

Rev. Mary Wongwai, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Pflugerville, Texas.

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