Miracles News

April-June, 2020

Loneliness

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

In the epilogue Jesus ends the workbook by talking about not being alone and comfortless. By the end of the workbook, hopefully we have made the choice to choose a different teacher, realizing that everything the ego has taught us is not going to make us happy or feel safe or fulfilled. One lesson we learned from the ego was loneliness. It is painful. If someone does not give us the affection or time we think we need, we feel lacking or not loved. ACIM tells us, “You have so little faith in yourself because you are unwilling to accept the fact that perfect love is in you, and so you seek without for what you cannot find within.” (T-15.VI.2:1)

Our ego equates loneliness with lack of love. The Holy Spirit tells us the opposite, that we are love and just are unaware of who and what we really are. Jesus’ last words of the workbook are, “You do not walk alone, God’s angels hover near and all about. His Love surrounds you, and of this be sure, that I will never leave you comfortless.”

Jesus understands what a huge motivating factor loneliness can be. People get and stay married to avoid loneliness. They tolerate abusive relationships to avoid loneliness. They even commit suicide. Somehow our egos feel safer, loved and more acceptable when we “have someone else.”

Real safety and knowing you are loved do not come from special relationships. They come by knowing who you really are — loved and completely safe as the separation never happened. Egos want their love and comfort “with skin on it.” How safe is it to trust in an illusion? Jesus tells us “not for one instant does the body exist.” All our pain comes from believing in the idea of separation and not remembering we are Love. I am not saying we do not need other people. I am saying we find lasting love when we remember those people are spiritual beings having a human experience. When we see them as the Love they are, we see it in our self.

When the ego is loudly shrieking about loneliness, it is hard to hear the Holy Spirit. Quieting our self is necessary to hear and feel the love and comfort that surrounds us. It is a choice we each make. Our happiness depends on it. We need to learn to trust the Holy Spirit more than we trust our ego thoughts. This Comforter can teach us to stop seeing ourselves as victims, alone and loveless, as though the world and people were doing things to us. Rather we can start seeing ourselves as students who have it all to learn. Then we see that the lessons life offers are our purpose for living.

Ending loneliness has nothing to do with understanding anybody else or fixing a situation. It is not achieved by getting someone to approve of us or be physically present. Healing loneliness is a release from fear. We can move away from loneliness by moving toward more healing thoughts. Decide you want the peace of God, get still. Remember that you do not perceive your own best interest.

To be peaceful means giving up being right and being willing to let go of suffering and victimhood. There is nobody to blame, the focus is not outward but inward. Dwell on thoughts of all you are thankful for now. Focus on the Love and Oneness we all are a part of. In reality there is nothing else. Not feeling lonely is a choice we make.

Rev. Joyce Peebles is a Pathways of Light minister living in Hot Springs Village, AR Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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