Miracles News

July-September, 2014

My Meditation in the Garden of Gethsemane

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

Rev. Larry Glenz I thought I knew the reason that I found myself going on a spiritual retreat to Jerusalem over Easter weekend. The lead spiritual teacher on the retreat, Nouk Sanchez, had written a book, The End of Death: The Deeper Teachings of A Course in Miracles. I had lost my son, Kevin, to a heroin overdose in the same year that Nouk had lost her soul partner, Tomas, in 2010. I believed there was more for me to learn from Nouk on the topic of physical death. I also desired to see the Holy Land during the holidays of Easter and Passover with my wife, Lulu.

Several weeks before our departure to Israel I began my study of The End of Death. It is a very serious study of the ACIM concept that there is no death really. The book includes exercises and visual charts designed to take one deeper into the experience of letting go of the ego’s most powerful illusion. I was well prepared to share my experience of these exercises and concepts. And I wanted to listen and learn from a spiritual teacher whom I have admired for years.

I was surprised and disappointed when Nouk explained that she would not be able to teach about her book. She had gone to Spirit several weeks earlier and was receiving guidance that this was a period of “emptying out” for her. She had no inclination to teach anything; she couldn’t even if she had wanted to. She prepared nothing for the 4-day workshop – no exercises, no charts, no lectures, no dialogue. She put the Holy Spirit in charge and let the retreat unfold on its own.

She did introduce another teacher, John Mark Stroud, whom she said was the clearest conduit for the Voice of Christ that she had ever experienced. In my perception, the voice of John Mark had replaced Nouk’s and my ego was not at all pleased. Maybe I just wasn’t ready for the voice of Jesus to have a Carolina accent. The ego raged in me.

The two days of the workshop before Easter Sunday was spent with many people sharing and enjoying each other in ways different than I expected. They exclaimed that this was more of a workshop “of the heart rather than the head.” Those words somehow rang empty in me, however. I felt that I had always experienced ACIM in the heart. And we weren’t talking about ACIM or the end of death — my supposed purpose in coming.

Easter Sunday marked a break in the workshop phase of this 12-day tour of Israel. We experienced a sunrise Easter mass at the Garden Tomb. Fantastic! In the afternoon our group had the Garden of Gethsemane all to ourselves for 40 minutes of individual prayer and meditation. I asked Holy Spirit to help me with my resentments about the workshop — particularly for the substitution of John Mark for Nouk as the primary voice.

For the first 35 minutes of my meditation my mind raced with a lawyer-like dissertation of why I feel the way I do. I was justifying all my ego beliefs by presenting my case to Jesus — here in the Garden of Gethsemane. As we came close to our estimated time of departure from the garden, I received a clear message. “What makes you think you need Nouk to teach you about the end of death? Haven’t I been there for you during this whole transformation since Kevin passed? Do you really think you need anyone or anything else to understand death?”

I was momentarily stunned. Of course I realize that Holy Spirit has carried me since Kevin’s death. I have experienced more love and kindness in my life than ever before. I have had Kevin’s spirit in my heart acting as a guiding angel. I can talk to him as if he is Holy Spirit’s lieutenant. I have had a most powerful relationship with Kevin since he passed from the physical world.

Then I heard Kevin’s voice with his famous tone of sarcasm say to me, “You’re not really going to take this guy (John Mark) seriously and let him ruin your experience here, are you? You know better than that. Allow him to be exactly as he is and let him help those that want his help.”

Within a minute I heard the voice of our tour director, Sam, gently waking me from my meditation. It was time to leave the garden. I realized immediately why I was to come to Jerusalem. I was being shown that I needed no spiritual leader, no guru, no one except Holy Spirit as my teacher. He will send me all I need. I just need to stay with Him.

And the rest of my journey in Israel was just wonderful. Thank you, Holy Spirit and Kevin. I recognize the important lesson here.

Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C., is a Pathways of Light minister living in Long Beach, New York. Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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